Miss E. Ducated.

The body is a student
Forever learning what we teach it
Be it knowingly
When we set out to let it learn
Or unbeknownst

I know the feeling
I feel the feeling
I see it coming
Like its already here
But hidden
So tell me, what exactly, are you hiding?

What am I about to hear
My heart asks “when will you tell me”
I don’t want to go on this trip
Playing hide and seek all through
You can just let me know
So I can gently, let go

It don’t even hurt anymore
The last time, I didn’t even get angry
The other time, I didn’t even cry
I remember the fool wanted to trip
You should’ve seen himHe started yelling in his desperate attempt
Tried flipping the script
But I tell you this
Since the beginning of time
Not one man on earth
Has ever been right, while wrong

I feel anxious
Like some new discovery is about to be made
A light bulb stays lit at my temple
Constantly getting new ideas
Of what the finding could be
Always worried, anxious
Like something is about to happen
I remember Yolanda’s story
Saintiah, Biola, Debra… these folks taught me
It really isn’t you, its human nature, I guess
It’s the order of things
The order is within you, within me
A timing on my heart’s clock, is set

I feel anxious
Like some new discovery is about to be made
Like something is about to happen
I don’t remember all the lies ever told to me
But my heart knows the feeling
I feel less pain with each lie
But my mind is forever changed
I find myself inquiring on things that aren’t necessarily there
But knowing that they aren’t there is scary
Because it hurts worse to get caught off guard
A girl’s been too foolish once too many
Times and time again, I’ve discovered lies
I’d much rather know that you’re untrue
And find out that you really are
Than think you’re real
And come to find you aren’t

My heart counts
Days, hours, minutes…moments
And I hear it whistling to me
Its saying something oddly familiar
Telling me, its about that time
Its about the time I catch you in your lies
And find out all the lies you’ve told all along
Bleed you through
And free myself of you
As I move on to the next dude
And start this cycle anew.

Hey, I know that I’ve got issues
I know this some scary shit
I do, really!
But I have a heart
And it learns well
Miss Educated
Knows History, Chemistry, Endocrinology
My heart knows happiness
And historically, its used to it concluding
In a wave of abrupt sadness
Unprecedented
Its used to adoring
Then hating, regreting
Its well aware of the law of gravity
That what goes up, must come down
Miss Educated
A plus, all through
No one ever did tell it,
That what goes up,
May just be something true.

September 28, 2011