Deeply i am.
For not calling, though you're terribly ill
If i had called, you would have asked how i've been doing
And in your book, theres no excuse for failing
And I, am just not so good
at lying.
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Friday, February 22, 2008
To that one lady, Thank you.
Sometimes Mama tells stories. Most times she doesnt. I guess happy stories are easier to share. Mama has very few of those as far as Dada is concerned.
So when she does share these stories, they stick.
Call them crazy glue to the basement lining of my memories, i... remember.
Like this one that i heard when i was little.
Mama, while driving us from school... told us kids... stories. And these times you'd never see her eyes. I dont think i ever saw her cry. But i know Mam's emotions flow through my ducts. I earned these tears from her. I know, she sheds in silence.
I tell you, some things just didnt make much sense.
We were young, we didnt understand. Mama lived in America for years. She went to uni in America. Mama et Dada.
Then they had some kids. And Dada was to go visit back home. And he did.
Then Mama got the mail.
"Some woman wrote me a letter, asking me if its true that he had divorced me!" its (un)funny how shes able to yell it out to us (sometimes). Yet when she hurts, does it oh so quietly.
In an attempt to ensure she would be married to a single man, this lady wrote her a letter to confirm that he had been divorced as he had claimed.
She snooped, got Mama's address, and sent the letter.
I admire her. Back then most women wouldnt care. Even now, some wouldnt. Culture is just an excuse. Truth is, some people just dont ever have the courage to demand better.
Needless to say, they were still married.
"I moved back home immediately. They had almost had the wedding, plannings and everything!"
Thats how she ended up back home.
Years later, somewhere... Dada got his dream. He found a woman who didnt care. She along with her one daughter and a pregnant belly, moved into our home. But Mama sensed it coming. You can take a bitch out of a hood but never a hood out dat bitch.
She had moved back overseas before she arrived.
I want to be that woman.
I want to be the one to tell another...
I would want to be told.
I would want to be informed.
But lord knows its been stressful trying to get a hold of Mrs. Stella Diek.
She never answers the phone. And so, i stopped calling.
And Diek? I stopped caring. Truth is, i hardly ever did. Which is why i was not hurt. I forget about him till friends mention him. Or till i log on to blogville and see his name... or till he calls.
But it must hurt to lose. Or it must suck to be ignored.
He had been trying to contact me on msn and i really didnt know what to say so i just leave him be. But instead, he decided to start calling me continuously.
8,4,3, 10 times a day.
Once i answered and said "Hello" only for him to say "Hi Truth, how are you?"
I hung up. What am i supposed to say? I dont know! Where is the conversation to go? How are you am okay how are you oh am okay too so what are you doing oh nothing so what are you doing oh nothing... LIKE!!! SERIOUSLY!
So, thats why i hung up.
And he resumed calling... always with blocked numbers. And when i answer (hardly do), he doesnt say a word.
A coward cant ever own up.
So i usually dont pick up. And when i cant stand it anymore, i do pick up and just leave the receiver on the table so he can hang up when he is tired of being a Diek.
So when she does share these stories, they stick.
Call them crazy glue to the basement lining of my memories, i... remember.
Like this one that i heard when i was little.
Mama, while driving us from school... told us kids... stories. And these times you'd never see her eyes. I dont think i ever saw her cry. But i know Mam's emotions flow through my ducts. I earned these tears from her. I know, she sheds in silence.
I tell you, some things just didnt make much sense.
We were young, we didnt understand. Mama lived in America for years. She went to uni in America. Mama et Dada.
Then they had some kids. And Dada was to go visit back home. And he did.
Then Mama got the mail.
"Some woman wrote me a letter, asking me if its true that he had divorced me!" its (un)funny how shes able to yell it out to us (sometimes). Yet when she hurts, does it oh so quietly.
In an attempt to ensure she would be married to a single man, this lady wrote her a letter to confirm that he had been divorced as he had claimed.
She snooped, got Mama's address, and sent the letter.
I admire her. Back then most women wouldnt care. Even now, some wouldnt. Culture is just an excuse. Truth is, some people just dont ever have the courage to demand better.
Needless to say, they were still married.
"I moved back home immediately. They had almost had the wedding, plannings and everything!"
Thats how she ended up back home.
Years later, somewhere... Dada got his dream. He found a woman who didnt care. She along with her one daughter and a pregnant belly, moved into our home. But Mama sensed it coming. You can take a bitch out of a hood but never a hood out dat bitch.
She had moved back overseas before she arrived.
I want to be that woman.
I want to be the one to tell another...
I would want to be told.
I would want to be informed.
But lord knows its been stressful trying to get a hold of Mrs. Stella Diek.
She never answers the phone. And so, i stopped calling.
And Diek? I stopped caring. Truth is, i hardly ever did. Which is why i was not hurt. I forget about him till friends mention him. Or till i log on to blogville and see his name... or till he calls.
But it must hurt to lose. Or it must suck to be ignored.
He had been trying to contact me on msn and i really didnt know what to say so i just leave him be. But instead, he decided to start calling me continuously.
8,4,3, 10 times a day.
Once i answered and said "Hello" only for him to say "Hi Truth, how are you?"
I hung up. What am i supposed to say? I dont know! Where is the conversation to go? How are you am okay how are you oh am okay too so what are you doing oh nothing so what are you doing oh nothing... LIKE!!! SERIOUSLY!
So, thats why i hung up.
And he resumed calling... always with blocked numbers. And when i answer (hardly do), he doesnt say a word.
A coward cant ever own up.
So i usually dont pick up. And when i cant stand it anymore, i do pick up and just leave the receiver on the table so he can hang up when he is tired of being a Diek.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Mr. Bail ran halfway through the family!
Okay, i've always wanted to share this guy's story but i just havent had the time to give a shit about writing about him. Well, i still dont. But i thought to write about something a little different... anyway, let me tell you about Mr. Bail.
I was online, chatting once like i sometimes do when i came across these two men. We seemed to be having a great convo. The other guy was discussing about his wife and kids, i was discussing about my inability to tolerate kids, and the man who was to become Mr. Bail was talking about both, with us. It was a great convo! Eventually the conversation ended and Mr. Bail sent me a private message asking if he could call me. I asked him for his number and he gave it to me. I called him shortly after. I was dead bored, besides, he had mentioned that he lived near where i do. So i called him. Just as we started to speak, things went a little funny. No not funny as in "haha" comedian funny but funny as in raise an eyebrow funny!
I asked Mr. Bail where he was from and he said he lived in NY (USA) and Buffalo (Canada). So what was he doing where i was? hes like "I'm here to visit some friends"
And why does he live in 2 different places? If my life was a movie at that moment, "Yahooze" would have been the soundtrack played. My flags went up, but something else made me continue the conversation (other than the fact that he seemed so intriguing and all).
I asked him how old he was, "39"
LOL my grandfather would roll in his grave lollll
I asked him if he had ever been married "Yes, twice"
LOL there goes another roll for old granpiii
I asked him if hes got kids "Yes, 2"
okay, at this point, i'm sure all my ancestors were doing backflips. it was evident, i was dealing with an ol school man. Then some infos started to synapse in my head...
My sisters Fierce and Aqua are both married. But before they did, they dated quite a lot of naija men. They are younger than Mr. Bail but being that my sisters are quite popular, i thought i better ask... but he beat me to it...
"Where did you say you live?"
"In Oaktown. But i'm in Aluwahlia at my mom's house now"
"Your mom lives there?"
"Yeah"
"I see. And your dad too?"
"No, they are divorced"
"Oh, goodness!" no, the way he said it, it wasnt like he was saying it because he was shocked that my parents are divorced. He said it like he had an "aha!" moment, like a light bulb just popped up in his head or something.
"what?"
"how many sisters do you have?" I automatically knew where this was going. i had been here before...Oh no, not again, not again, not...
"3"
"Did any of them use to live at VanKirst?" Dammit! Not again!!!
"Yeah." he let out a big laugh!
"I know you."
And he did. My mind raced back to years ago... i remember VanKirst. I was at Vankirst, visiting my sisters when i had my first period. How could i forget... i was young, they were too, but they were in their late teen/early 20s. They use to date a lot and they had a lot of admirers. So, i was exposed to these admirers, but i was just as equally protected from them. But once, Aqua allowed me to speak with one of them, over the phone. Till this day, i am yet to speak with any man with a milkier voice. He made me think Barry White had came back to life. I had a crush on him instantly... faster than you could spell "un-oh!"... and that crush disappeared the moment i gave the phone back and looked on my sister's blushing face
"Isnt he so sexy?"
"hmm... hes okay" I couldnt get myself to admit it. Not after seeing how she liked him (or crushed him). He, was the young Mr. Bail.
So once he realised it was me, he seemed ecstatic.
"I use to talk to your sisters, we were friends" I wanted to ask "what sort of friends?" but words failed me.
"I use to think at that time that your sister was the love of my life. But i coulnt do anything about it because i was going through my first divorce."LOL! "first" lmaoooooooo. Anyway, he continued...
"Aqua was such a good friend. A great friend. And she introduced me to Fierce"
now, i'm getting a clearer picture. Now, knowing Aqua, she probably wouldnt transfer a man to Fierce unless she thinks that hes short or too old for her or something (Aqua is tall. Much taller than Fierce. Aqua is younger.). I thought something was odd.
"I like you so much. It seems i'm meant to be with someone from your family. I mean, first it was Aqua, then Fierce, then you"
WTF! WTFFFFF! What the furrkkkk is this man saying? my head was running slow at that time but it was burning with each step!
"Well, Bail you know i still have one more sister" pun intended!!!
"LOL no, the third time is a charm"
Like all other "misters" that have tried to run through my family, i thought to cripple this one before it takes its next step. We decided to meet.
I decided to meet him by my friend's house. It was quite interesting. When we met, i fell in love! The devil is a liar, for he knows what he does. My Yahooze radar kept alarming once i saw his car.
This man was beautiful!
"You're like a cross between Jill Scott and Erykah Badu" Cheasiest line a man has ever uttered to me, though i loved it!
We talked for hours! I had parked my car and gotten into his. I was about 100km from home. He was about 200km away from his hotel. We'd been talking for hours!
"Let me get you a hotel" Please re read that statement of his. Yeah, he said "you", right? So i decided to ask...
"Where would YoU sleep?"
"On the couch" LMAO does this man think i'm really stupid? whats going on>??? i must have a stupid looking outfit on or something!
"You want to get the hotel so we could both sleep in there? So really what you meant to ask me was if you could get US a hotel"
He laughed. "come on... i would sleep on the couch. You look really tired, i dont want you driving so late when you're so tired. At least you could rest a bit at a hotel"
"Bail, if you want to get me a hotel because you cared, you wouldnt squeeze yourself into the offer. Dont try to make it seem like you're trying to do me a favor. Thanks anyway"
anyway, the night ended. On a good but hell' of confusing note. I knew i wasnt hearing the full gist. I had to talk to my sisters.
I called Fierce at work the next day
"Do you know a guy named Bail?"
"Bail?..." she searched through her repetoire... " bail, bail, bail..." she asked..."what does he look like?"
"dark skinned, older, cute..."
"did he say he knew me?"
"Yeah, you and Aqua"
"ohhhhh!" UP NEPAAA! there goes another light bulb "yeah! Aqua introduced me to him. why? you know hes like almost 40, right?"
embarrassed, i replied "yah, i know"
"oh okay. hes too old for you."She asked how i met him, i told her everything. Then i guess she realised why i had called. She said "Aqua introduced me to him, he came down from NY, we slept in thesame bed but we didnt do anything. nothing sexual at all. we didnt even kiss"
somehow, i was relieved. I liked this guy. he was so sexy, but "we didnt even kiss" wasnt good enough... not since it came after "we slept in thesame bed"
eww!
I got up the courage to ask Aqua and her story was even more odd.
"LOL! What are you doing talking to Bail? he owes me money!!!"
WTFFFFFF! "Money?"
"Yeah! I trusted him when i first met him. I gave him my bank card..." oh lawd, my sister is so silly... gave? bank card? "to go buy me something and he stole $1,000 FROM MY ACCOUNT!!!"my jaw dropped.
i mean, DROPPED OH!
"yeah, i called him numerous times he said he would pay me back. he never did! kept calling after that but he wouldnt answer his phone, and then he disconnected his line. He called me collect a year later, from jail to ask me to bail him out. I simply asked him if he still owed me a thousand bucks, he said yeah, so i said okay well he can have the thousand bucks. he should use the thousand bucks to bail himself out"
At that point, i wanted a gun. i wanted to shoot him.I thought up a thousand and two ways i could get him, and a few more on how i could screw him over, royally!
But a friend had told me "Its wayyy to exhausting trying to hurt people"
He wasnt worth it.
I never answered his calls.
He called for weeks after. He would even call out my name in the chat room whenever he would see me... send me private messages... but to me, a person who had tried to have relations with 2 of my sisters, stolen from one, is almost forty, married and divorced twice, with two kids, and is yahoozing... really... need i say more???
He wasnt worth it.
Chapter closed.
I was online, chatting once like i sometimes do when i came across these two men. We seemed to be having a great convo. The other guy was discussing about his wife and kids, i was discussing about my inability to tolerate kids, and the man who was to become Mr. Bail was talking about both, with us. It was a great convo! Eventually the conversation ended and Mr. Bail sent me a private message asking if he could call me. I asked him for his number and he gave it to me. I called him shortly after. I was dead bored, besides, he had mentioned that he lived near where i do. So i called him. Just as we started to speak, things went a little funny. No not funny as in "haha" comedian funny but funny as in raise an eyebrow funny!
I asked Mr. Bail where he was from and he said he lived in NY (USA) and Buffalo (Canada). So what was he doing where i was? hes like "I'm here to visit some friends"
And why does he live in 2 different places? If my life was a movie at that moment, "Yahooze" would have been the soundtrack played. My flags went up, but something else made me continue the conversation (other than the fact that he seemed so intriguing and all).
I asked him how old he was, "39"
LOL my grandfather would roll in his grave lollll
I asked him if he had ever been married "Yes, twice"
LOL there goes another roll for old granpiii
I asked him if hes got kids "Yes, 2"
okay, at this point, i'm sure all my ancestors were doing backflips. it was evident, i was dealing with an ol school man. Then some infos started to synapse in my head...
My sisters Fierce and Aqua are both married. But before they did, they dated quite a lot of naija men. They are younger than Mr. Bail but being that my sisters are quite popular, i thought i better ask... but he beat me to it...
"Where did you say you live?"
"In Oaktown. But i'm in Aluwahlia at my mom's house now"
"Your mom lives there?"
"Yeah"
"I see. And your dad too?"
"No, they are divorced"
"Oh, goodness!" no, the way he said it, it wasnt like he was saying it because he was shocked that my parents are divorced. He said it like he had an "aha!" moment, like a light bulb just popped up in his head or something.
"what?"
"how many sisters do you have?" I automatically knew where this was going. i had been here before...Oh no, not again, not again, not...
"3"
"Did any of them use to live at VanKirst?" Dammit! Not again!!!
"Yeah." he let out a big laugh!
"I know you."
And he did. My mind raced back to years ago... i remember VanKirst. I was at Vankirst, visiting my sisters when i had my first period. How could i forget... i was young, they were too, but they were in their late teen/early 20s. They use to date a lot and they had a lot of admirers. So, i was exposed to these admirers, but i was just as equally protected from them. But once, Aqua allowed me to speak with one of them, over the phone. Till this day, i am yet to speak with any man with a milkier voice. He made me think Barry White had came back to life. I had a crush on him instantly... faster than you could spell "un-oh!"... and that crush disappeared the moment i gave the phone back and looked on my sister's blushing face
"Isnt he so sexy?"
"hmm... hes okay" I couldnt get myself to admit it. Not after seeing how she liked him (or crushed him). He, was the young Mr. Bail.
So once he realised it was me, he seemed ecstatic.
"I use to talk to your sisters, we were friends" I wanted to ask "what sort of friends?" but words failed me.
"I use to think at that time that your sister was the love of my life. But i coulnt do anything about it because i was going through my first divorce."LOL! "first" lmaoooooooo. Anyway, he continued...
"Aqua was such a good friend. A great friend. And she introduced me to Fierce"
now, i'm getting a clearer picture. Now, knowing Aqua, she probably wouldnt transfer a man to Fierce unless she thinks that hes short or too old for her or something (Aqua is tall. Much taller than Fierce. Aqua is younger.). I thought something was odd.
"I like you so much. It seems i'm meant to be with someone from your family. I mean, first it was Aqua, then Fierce, then you"
WTF! WTFFFFF! What the furrkkkk is this man saying? my head was running slow at that time but it was burning with each step!
"Well, Bail you know i still have one more sister" pun intended!!!
"LOL no, the third time is a charm"
Like all other "misters" that have tried to run through my family, i thought to cripple this one before it takes its next step. We decided to meet.
I decided to meet him by my friend's house. It was quite interesting. When we met, i fell in love! The devil is a liar, for he knows what he does. My Yahooze radar kept alarming once i saw his car.
This man was beautiful!
"You're like a cross between Jill Scott and Erykah Badu" Cheasiest line a man has ever uttered to me, though i loved it!
We talked for hours! I had parked my car and gotten into his. I was about 100km from home. He was about 200km away from his hotel. We'd been talking for hours!
"Let me get you a hotel" Please re read that statement of his. Yeah, he said "you", right? So i decided to ask...
"Where would YoU sleep?"
"On the couch" LMAO does this man think i'm really stupid? whats going on>??? i must have a stupid looking outfit on or something!
"You want to get the hotel so we could both sleep in there? So really what you meant to ask me was if you could get US a hotel"
He laughed. "come on... i would sleep on the couch. You look really tired, i dont want you driving so late when you're so tired. At least you could rest a bit at a hotel"
"Bail, if you want to get me a hotel because you cared, you wouldnt squeeze yourself into the offer. Dont try to make it seem like you're trying to do me a favor. Thanks anyway"
anyway, the night ended. On a good but hell' of confusing note. I knew i wasnt hearing the full gist. I had to talk to my sisters.
I called Fierce at work the next day
"Do you know a guy named Bail?"
"Bail?..." she searched through her repetoire... " bail, bail, bail..." she asked..."what does he look like?"
"dark skinned, older, cute..."
"did he say he knew me?"
"Yeah, you and Aqua"
"ohhhhh!" UP NEPAAA! there goes another light bulb "yeah! Aqua introduced me to him. why? you know hes like almost 40, right?"
embarrassed, i replied "yah, i know"
"oh okay. hes too old for you."She asked how i met him, i told her everything. Then i guess she realised why i had called. She said "Aqua introduced me to him, he came down from NY, we slept in thesame bed but we didnt do anything. nothing sexual at all. we didnt even kiss"
somehow, i was relieved. I liked this guy. he was so sexy, but "we didnt even kiss" wasnt good enough... not since it came after "we slept in thesame bed"
eww!
I got up the courage to ask Aqua and her story was even more odd.
"LOL! What are you doing talking to Bail? he owes me money!!!"
WTFFFFFF! "Money?"
"Yeah! I trusted him when i first met him. I gave him my bank card..." oh lawd, my sister is so silly... gave? bank card? "to go buy me something and he stole $1,000 FROM MY ACCOUNT!!!"my jaw dropped.
i mean, DROPPED OH!
"yeah, i called him numerous times he said he would pay me back. he never did! kept calling after that but he wouldnt answer his phone, and then he disconnected his line. He called me collect a year later, from jail to ask me to bail him out. I simply asked him if he still owed me a thousand bucks, he said yeah, so i said okay well he can have the thousand bucks. he should use the thousand bucks to bail himself out"
At that point, i wanted a gun. i wanted to shoot him.I thought up a thousand and two ways i could get him, and a few more on how i could screw him over, royally!
But a friend had told me "Its wayyy to exhausting trying to hurt people"
He wasnt worth it.
I never answered his calls.
He called for weeks after. He would even call out my name in the chat room whenever he would see me... send me private messages... but to me, a person who had tried to have relations with 2 of my sisters, stolen from one, is almost forty, married and divorced twice, with two kids, and is yahoozing... really... need i say more???
He wasnt worth it.
Chapter closed.
Friday, October 26, 2007
Names of you
Melody: for your mother's love of music.
Harmony: nothing is more fufilling than to be in harmony with your body, mind and soul
Soleil: means "sun" in French. You'd be the center of my world. You'd make me love the light.
Trinity: to remind me of what matters most in the world. The father(or mother?), spirit, son (or daughter?)
Song: the beutifullest things in this world ars songs and...
Meusiq: not thesame as song. Music isnt necessarilly lyrics harmonized with rythm. Music can be a chain of events, harmonized with rythm. You'd be part of the lyrics of my life.
Miraquel: for me to have a child; to feel loved by it and to give all my love to it without holding back. to teach a child my precious gifts... to err its life of the errs of mine, would be a miracle
Seoul: the only thing i'll bring with me when i'm gone. I'd bring you with me.
Watar: Cant live without it. I want you to be priceless to this world. To infect it with the need for you. Make it want to hold you, forever
Darque: The best things, the deepest secrets, and the realest things live in the dark.
Fayar: You ignite with the littlest inspirations. You'll burn with the boldest love. You'd burn thorough hearts that hate and find your niche in gentle hearts.
Truth: Oh wow! your heart lives in your heart, your heart on your tongue. You will act as you believe is true. And will be critical of whatever society demands of you, truthfully.
Gift: you'd be my gift to the world. And you'd be the world's greatest gift.
Love: Need i expatiate? you'd give love. And you'd remind the world of the most important aspect of love.
Wintermorn:Ever looked out your door on a winter morning? Pure, undisturbed, white. Perfect.
Red: Red is the only colour that is capable of making me feel juvenile, strong, bold and loving at thesame time. You'd be forever young, ever strong, the boldest being and the epitome of love.
Earth: To commemorate my love for the mother of it all. You'd be as natural as can be. You'd be giving and you'd florish. Everyone who knows you will feed of off you and you will never lack.
Reign: May reign rain! You will hover over the world and reign (rain) in it.
Summer rae: One of my client's granddaughter's names. Summer-rae reminds me of the rainbow. You'll bring shine, a supernatural light to this world. You'll be my everlasting promise from God.
Dream: Here i am dreaming you. By then, i would have dreamt you here. You'd stay asleep from birth to death. I want you to see the beautifullest things, and i would not want you to stop dreaming.
Harmony: nothing is more fufilling than to be in harmony with your body, mind and soul
Soleil: means "sun" in French. You'd be the center of my world. You'd make me love the light.
Trinity: to remind me of what matters most in the world. The father(or mother?), spirit, son (or daughter?)
Song: the beutifullest things in this world ars songs and...
Meusiq: not thesame as song. Music isnt necessarilly lyrics harmonized with rythm. Music can be a chain of events, harmonized with rythm. You'd be part of the lyrics of my life.
Miraquel: for me to have a child; to feel loved by it and to give all my love to it without holding back. to teach a child my precious gifts... to err its life of the errs of mine, would be a miracle
Seoul: the only thing i'll bring with me when i'm gone. I'd bring you with me.
Watar: Cant live without it. I want you to be priceless to this world. To infect it with the need for you. Make it want to hold you, forever
Darque: The best things, the deepest secrets, and the realest things live in the dark.
Fayar: You ignite with the littlest inspirations. You'll burn with the boldest love. You'd burn thorough hearts that hate and find your niche in gentle hearts.
Truth: Oh wow! your heart lives in your heart, your heart on your tongue. You will act as you believe is true. And will be critical of whatever society demands of you, truthfully.
Gift: you'd be my gift to the world. And you'd be the world's greatest gift.
Love: Need i expatiate? you'd give love. And you'd remind the world of the most important aspect of love.
Wintermorn:Ever looked out your door on a winter morning? Pure, undisturbed, white. Perfect.
Red: Red is the only colour that is capable of making me feel juvenile, strong, bold and loving at thesame time. You'd be forever young, ever strong, the boldest being and the epitome of love.
Earth: To commemorate my love for the mother of it all. You'd be as natural as can be. You'd be giving and you'd florish. Everyone who knows you will feed of off you and you will never lack.
Reign: May reign rain! You will hover over the world and reign (rain) in it.
Summer rae: One of my client's granddaughter's names. Summer-rae reminds me of the rainbow. You'll bring shine, a supernatural light to this world. You'll be my everlasting promise from God.
Dream: Here i am dreaming you. By then, i would have dreamt you here. You'd stay asleep from birth to death. I want you to see the beautifullest things, and i would not want you to stop dreaming.
Monday, October 22, 2007
Hate, Regrets, Anger, all of a fucken sudden!
I spoke with Ambition a few minutes ago.
shes been calling me, trying to get a hold of me.
Maybe if i'd be checking my voicemails i would've heard the news.
But i never do, so i didnt.
Its true i cant stand Dada.
He was my best friend for my first 10 years.
And then life happened and the wools were pulled so that i could see the light.
I no longer was a fool.
I saw Dada, for Dada.
and what i learnt of Dada and what i have continued to learn since then, had made me decide that he deserved no respectful spot in my life.
But how little this seems to matter,
once you realise you could lose someone, for life.
Dada, has been diagnosed with prostate cancer. no word of what stage it is, yet.
the thought of losing the one person who is responsible for my cardinal characters, my cardinal beauties... makes me sad.
at 62, i cant imagine what life would be like, if i didnt share it with him.
and even at this moment, it is so hard to pick up the phone to call.
to love him wholeheartedly, would be to forgive him.
and forgiveness, that i wasnt prepared to do.
and now i feel like i have to.
all of a sudden
the most health-centric Afro man i know
all of sudden
the only man that seems to fuck me up so damn well
all of a sudden
the one voice that use to move mountains and clouds all at a whisper
all of a sudden
all of a fucken sudden
all of a mother fucken sudden!
shes been calling me, trying to get a hold of me.
Maybe if i'd be checking my voicemails i would've heard the news.
But i never do, so i didnt.
Its true i cant stand Dada.
He was my best friend for my first 10 years.
And then life happened and the wools were pulled so that i could see the light.
I no longer was a fool.
I saw Dada, for Dada.
and what i learnt of Dada and what i have continued to learn since then, had made me decide that he deserved no respectful spot in my life.
But how little this seems to matter,
once you realise you could lose someone, for life.
Dada, has been diagnosed with prostate cancer. no word of what stage it is, yet.
the thought of losing the one person who is responsible for my cardinal characters, my cardinal beauties... makes me sad.
at 62, i cant imagine what life would be like, if i didnt share it with him.
and even at this moment, it is so hard to pick up the phone to call.
to love him wholeheartedly, would be to forgive him.
and forgiveness, that i wasnt prepared to do.
and now i feel like i have to.
all of a sudden
the most health-centric Afro man i know
all of sudden
the only man that seems to fuck me up so damn well
all of a sudden
the one voice that use to move mountains and clouds all at a whisper
all of a sudden
all of a fucken sudden
all of a mother fucken sudden!
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Thanksgiving dinner on Sunday
I started off my day weird!
i woke up late around 1pm, Nat had called and she was warning me about my lateness
"If you dont start the turkey early, you know it wont be ready by the time they get there, right?"
And do you think i listened?
So i went downstairs in the basement to get the car so i can go across the street to the mall to shop for the stuff i need to stuff the turkey
i figured i'd drive even though the store is just across the street, just in case i ended up purchasing more than i anticipated. I hate dragging so much stuff home across the street. I'd rather drive.
I went to the basement to the parking lot only to find my car missing.
Chineke mo!
i tell you; all i could think of was that my car had been repo'd because i havent paid my car loan dues for last month! I was almost crying when i remembered that i had parked the car in front of my building last night.
i blew out one long breath of thanks to God in the form of Co2 as i went back into the elevator to go to the ground floor. Yes, my poor old car was there. Thank God!
So i got into the car, back up so i could get out of the parking spot and heard a funny "bang!"
Jesu!
i looked out to see i had hit the red van behind me.
My heart nearly jumped out my nose as i litterally picked up a piece of paper and wrote
"I just hit your car. Please call me at (564) 673-8564" It took me at least 30 seconds to write that-my hand was shaking so much. I didnt even think, all i could imagine was a big dent in the back of my poor car and an even bigger dent in the front of the red van.
I went to stick the note on the red van and decided to take a look at the damages-
zero, zit, nada, ofo, nothing at fucking all!
not a dent, not a scratch, nothing!
I just jejely returned to my car and CAREFULLY got out of the parking spot, to the mall.
So! i got to the mall, decided to get my wallet and realised i had left it at home. So instead of driving back and forth, i just walked back home to pick up my wallet and walked back to the mall to shop.
I shopped and got back home before realising that i had LEFT the car at the mall!
I wont kill myself, i tell you. If my head wasnt attached to my neck, i know i'd forget it somewhere. I mean, who forgets their car at the mall?!?
So that was a great start for my thanksgiving day!
Forget that the turkey wasnt cooked by the time the guests arrived at 7pm because i had only started baking it at 4:45pm
Forget that no one including myself ate the turkey slices in their dinner plates because it tasted like rubber ( as per it wasnt cooked lol)
Forget that i had to pop the half backed thing back into the oven for a second bake
It was my first time hosting my family thanksgiving dinner,
And my first time doing an almost great job of it
For most of them, it was their first time seeing my new place and they all loved it!
Reminded me why i had chosen to live here...
We danced, we ate, we laughed
I made shrimp ceaser salad which Fierce's husband litterally made "baa" noices to (like a goat) because he claimed i was making him animal food...
I made the turkey with wild rice,celery, bead and onion stuffing and honey-orange glaze
Fierce made garlic-herbed spagetti, banana bread and chocolate cake with toffee-nut topping
Mom made beancake (moimoi) and jollof rice
Ambition made shrimp fried rice
10 people in here (myself included). We had enough food to last us through Katrina
By 8pm we were mostly all so tired
The eveining ended at 10:45pm after we had danced ourselves to exhaustion
I went to sleep at 1am only to have a dream about Kimani (tufiakwa), TBS (WTF!) and some (imaginary?) boyfriend of mine. I tell you, dreams are so silly!
I have so much to be thankful for. I thank God for my life, for my family, for my friends and for my love of self.
i woke up late around 1pm, Nat had called and she was warning me about my lateness
"If you dont start the turkey early, you know it wont be ready by the time they get there, right?"
And do you think i listened?
So i went downstairs in the basement to get the car so i can go across the street to the mall to shop for the stuff i need to stuff the turkey
i figured i'd drive even though the store is just across the street, just in case i ended up purchasing more than i anticipated. I hate dragging so much stuff home across the street. I'd rather drive.
I went to the basement to the parking lot only to find my car missing.
Chineke mo!
i tell you; all i could think of was that my car had been repo'd because i havent paid my car loan dues for last month! I was almost crying when i remembered that i had parked the car in front of my building last night.
i blew out one long breath of thanks to God in the form of Co2 as i went back into the elevator to go to the ground floor. Yes, my poor old car was there. Thank God!
So i got into the car, back up so i could get out of the parking spot and heard a funny "bang!"
Jesu!
i looked out to see i had hit the red van behind me.
My heart nearly jumped out my nose as i litterally picked up a piece of paper and wrote
"I just hit your car. Please call me at (564) 673-8564" It took me at least 30 seconds to write that-my hand was shaking so much. I didnt even think, all i could imagine was a big dent in the back of my poor car and an even bigger dent in the front of the red van.
I went to stick the note on the red van and decided to take a look at the damages-
zero, zit, nada, ofo, nothing at fucking all!
not a dent, not a scratch, nothing!
I just jejely returned to my car and CAREFULLY got out of the parking spot, to the mall.
So! i got to the mall, decided to get my wallet and realised i had left it at home. So instead of driving back and forth, i just walked back home to pick up my wallet and walked back to the mall to shop.
I shopped and got back home before realising that i had LEFT the car at the mall!
I wont kill myself, i tell you. If my head wasnt attached to my neck, i know i'd forget it somewhere. I mean, who forgets their car at the mall?!?
So that was a great start for my thanksgiving day!
Forget that the turkey wasnt cooked by the time the guests arrived at 7pm because i had only started baking it at 4:45pm
Forget that no one including myself ate the turkey slices in their dinner plates because it tasted like rubber ( as per it wasnt cooked lol)
Forget that i had to pop the half backed thing back into the oven for a second bake
It was my first time hosting my family thanksgiving dinner,
And my first time doing an almost great job of it
For most of them, it was their first time seeing my new place and they all loved it!
Reminded me why i had chosen to live here...
We danced, we ate, we laughed
I made shrimp ceaser salad which Fierce's husband litterally made "baa" noices to (like a goat) because he claimed i was making him animal food...
I made the turkey with wild rice,celery, bead and onion stuffing and honey-orange glaze
Fierce made garlic-herbed spagetti, banana bread and chocolate cake with toffee-nut topping
Mom made beancake (moimoi) and jollof rice
Ambition made shrimp fried rice
10 people in here (myself included). We had enough food to last us through Katrina
By 8pm we were mostly all so tired
The eveining ended at 10:45pm after we had danced ourselves to exhaustion
I went to sleep at 1am only to have a dream about Kimani (tufiakwa), TBS (WTF!) and some (imaginary?) boyfriend of mine. I tell you, dreams are so silly!
I have so much to be thankful for. I thank God for my life, for my family, for my friends and for my love of self.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Sometimes, you need the craze to get the glue!
I havent seen my family bond so well as they have these past couple of days.
We've spent these past days together. We've come together, to support one another.
Theres been times when i wondered if it would have made a difference if it wasnt Ambition in that hospital bed.
Would it be any different if it was I, for example?
Ambition is well loved. She is blessed with the priviledge of chairing our parent's heart.
And it would have made it easy to envy her if it wasnt her.
But she makes it so hard. So hard to hate her.
I cant.
Ever heard of a coworker that gets awarded for everything- being on time, being conscientous, being the best worker, THEN you meet her only for her to be the nicest person ever?
Ambition is too easy to love.
So although it was hard being her sibling when i was little, i couldnt hate her.
because she loved me, and everyone else so perfectly. She was simple. She was an easy person.
shes getting better and i'm so glad.
Thanks to everyone thats expressed their best wishes, hope you never get to experience this.
Rumour says she might be discharged tomorrow.
I'll conclude with a joke that happened yesterday.
Its funny now but when it happened, it was quite embarrassing.
Okay so picture Ambition, my nephew and neice, my other sister (Fierce), my brother, and a third sister (Aqua) sitting in the living room, talking, laughing, and chilling when my brother in law (Bode) picked up my cell phone from the coffee table.
Hes a jester so i knew he was teasing when he said
"your phone is so cheap, it doesnt even have a camera feature, does it?"
"it does, its a camera phone!"
"oh, so you have pics in it?"
"yeah, check the gallery and then check the images in there for pics"
and so he did.
Now, i know that i have a secret that only I and Fierce knows of in my family.
I take nude pics.
I love nudity and I've often wondered if it'd make a difference if i didnt think i had a nice body. I dont think it would.
Fierce use to beat me for it when i was young. She'd scold me to tears and lecture me for hours and she'd make me rip the nude pics i'd taken- but that was when i was younger. Now i'm older, an adult. She'd lost the right to scold me. She'd lost that fight, bless her soul!
But anyway, Fierce didnt say anything, and neither did i.
i was so sure i didnt have any nude pics in my cam.
I was wrong.
I had China take a nude pic of me a lil while ago- its a pic of me in a fetal position,facing downward, naked but a thong...
yeah, Bode saw it
and flipped it around to show me what he saw, but because i was sitting far from him, everyone saw it.
I tell you, i would've turned purple if i could have, but my wealth of melanin deprived me of such.
Yeah, it was so embarrasing.
My mom was like
" oh my goodness!" "what are you? a stripper, now?!!!"
"sure mom! would you like to watch me strip one of these days?"
needless to say, she didnt reply... My mom is pretty reserved and she'd rather not say much in these sort of instances.
the poor woman was short of words. I dont think i can suprise her anymore.
lol
Anyway, so that was that!
We've spent these past days together. We've come together, to support one another.
Theres been times when i wondered if it would have made a difference if it wasnt Ambition in that hospital bed.
Would it be any different if it was I, for example?
Ambition is well loved. She is blessed with the priviledge of chairing our parent's heart.
And it would have made it easy to envy her if it wasnt her.
But she makes it so hard. So hard to hate her.
I cant.
Ever heard of a coworker that gets awarded for everything- being on time, being conscientous, being the best worker, THEN you meet her only for her to be the nicest person ever?
Ambition is too easy to love.
So although it was hard being her sibling when i was little, i couldnt hate her.
because she loved me, and everyone else so perfectly. She was simple. She was an easy person.
shes getting better and i'm so glad.
Thanks to everyone thats expressed their best wishes, hope you never get to experience this.
Rumour says she might be discharged tomorrow.
I'll conclude with a joke that happened yesterday.
Its funny now but when it happened, it was quite embarrassing.
Okay so picture Ambition, my nephew and neice, my other sister (Fierce), my brother, and a third sister (Aqua) sitting in the living room, talking, laughing, and chilling when my brother in law (Bode) picked up my cell phone from the coffee table.
Hes a jester so i knew he was teasing when he said
"your phone is so cheap, it doesnt even have a camera feature, does it?"
"it does, its a camera phone!"
"oh, so you have pics in it?"
"yeah, check the gallery and then check the images in there for pics"
and so he did.
Now, i know that i have a secret that only I and Fierce knows of in my family.
I take nude pics.
I love nudity and I've often wondered if it'd make a difference if i didnt think i had a nice body. I dont think it would.
Fierce use to beat me for it when i was young. She'd scold me to tears and lecture me for hours and she'd make me rip the nude pics i'd taken- but that was when i was younger. Now i'm older, an adult. She'd lost the right to scold me. She'd lost that fight, bless her soul!
But anyway, Fierce didnt say anything, and neither did i.
i was so sure i didnt have any nude pics in my cam.
I was wrong.
I had China take a nude pic of me a lil while ago- its a pic of me in a fetal position,facing downward, naked but a thong...
yeah, Bode saw it
and flipped it around to show me what he saw, but because i was sitting far from him, everyone saw it.
I tell you, i would've turned purple if i could have, but my wealth of melanin deprived me of such.
Yeah, it was so embarrasing.
My mom was like
" oh my goodness!" "what are you? a stripper, now?!!!"
"sure mom! would you like to watch me strip one of these days?"
needless to say, she didnt reply... My mom is pretty reserved and she'd rather not say much in these sort of instances.
the poor woman was short of words. I dont think i can suprise her anymore.
lol
Anyway, so that was that!
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Remembering... My first loves
i remember at 21
i had just moved back home after 2yrs of college
had to leave mom's home since she couldnt respect my opinion.
"you know what, mom? just so you know, if ever i want to get married, and when i am ready to choose, you can be rest assured, that i wont be looking for a man who can get along with you. A little naija man who- at your beck and call, hurries because "culture" dictates so. I wont pick one because he postrates at your presence. i hate to break it to you but MA MARRIAGE WONT BE ABOUT YOU! You wont be in it. I'll rock that ring, and it'll remain a pact between me, and whoever else i'm with. Between two people, where there wont be any intruders. If i'm with a man, Mother, it'll be because i want him, he wants me, and he respects me. Now let this be the last time you speak to me about something I've already discussed with you. We can agree to disagree. i'll move out next month."
and i did.
years later,Mama and I, are even closer.
Mama calle me when she makes my fav. meals,
calls me to pick some mails up,
sometimes still deliver my mails for me,
Still still calls me for my opinions about life
Thesame Mama who once attempted to break open a papaya
with her bare hands, because i was so hungry
i remember...
Thesame woman who had multiple jobs and 5 kids,
Thesame woman who managed to pay through way through ....
highschool, university...
a woman in an African country
This woman who consults me with her issues,
but never did she bring that topic up again.
"dad, wait! i really dont wanna hear anymore. You may stop calling me all you like if you dont like what i'm about to say because frankly, i wont stand to be disrespected! i mean- here you are being a hypocrite, telling me its "much better" to marry a naija man when YOURSELF are a naija man AND u didnt treat ma mom well! how dare you! you are here, calling me up to preach something that you yourself have failed at. LET THIS BE THE LAST TIME you speak to me about such an issue! Being a naija doesnt make a man a good husband. EVEN YOU have proved that. so respect me enough to at least, respect my opinion as a grown adult. If i do make a mistake, its fine. life isnt about mistakes- but about learning. thanks."
years later, ma Dada is still ma Dada.
The same man who would tickle me silly
i'd laugh till i cried
i'd roll on the living room floor
he'd give me his left overs
he'd bribe me. give me a five naira bill, in exchange for a bold dare-
"go slap ur sister in her face"
and i'd know better.
because the first time i did, not only did Ambition beat me shitless
but my daddy also scolded me, for being so stupid
"yes i told you to, but if i told you to jump off the balcony, wonld you do that too? dont you know the difference between right and wrong?"
he laughed at me, that husky deep throat of his
bears the coldest, yet heartiest storngest laughter
it comes from outside of him
it comes somewhere from beneath him
the source of his voice,
is the earth we thread on.
With a voice like a firery thunder,
he laughed at me, as he pulled me closer, hugging me.
"oya pele"
i remember...
Thesame man who'd beat mom into one too many uncounscious episodes,
Thesame one who i have now come to forgive
Thesame one who manages to reoffend
Thesame one who somehow, thinks he deserves that "fatherly" role
Thesame one whose love remains so unporportioned
Thesame one who i cant help but love
and hope someday, can heal, with.
My first love. My dad, never did bring the topic up again.
i had just moved back home after 2yrs of college
had to leave mom's home since she couldnt respect my opinion.
"you know what, mom? just so you know, if ever i want to get married, and when i am ready to choose, you can be rest assured, that i wont be looking for a man who can get along with you. A little naija man who- at your beck and call, hurries because "culture" dictates so. I wont pick one because he postrates at your presence. i hate to break it to you but MA MARRIAGE WONT BE ABOUT YOU! You wont be in it. I'll rock that ring, and it'll remain a pact between me, and whoever else i'm with. Between two people, where there wont be any intruders. If i'm with a man, Mother, it'll be because i want him, he wants me, and he respects me. Now let this be the last time you speak to me about something I've already discussed with you. We can agree to disagree. i'll move out next month."
and i did.
years later,Mama and I, are even closer.
Mama calle me when she makes my fav. meals,
calls me to pick some mails up,
sometimes still deliver my mails for me,
Still still calls me for my opinions about life
Thesame Mama who once attempted to break open a papaya
with her bare hands, because i was so hungry
i remember...
Thesame woman who had multiple jobs and 5 kids,
Thesame woman who managed to pay through way through ....
highschool, university...
a woman in an African country
This woman who consults me with her issues,
but never did she bring that topic up again.
"dad, wait! i really dont wanna hear anymore. You may stop calling me all you like if you dont like what i'm about to say because frankly, i wont stand to be disrespected! i mean- here you are being a hypocrite, telling me its "much better" to marry a naija man when YOURSELF are a naija man AND u didnt treat ma mom well! how dare you! you are here, calling me up to preach something that you yourself have failed at. LET THIS BE THE LAST TIME you speak to me about such an issue! Being a naija doesnt make a man a good husband. EVEN YOU have proved that. so respect me enough to at least, respect my opinion as a grown adult. If i do make a mistake, its fine. life isnt about mistakes- but about learning. thanks."
years later, ma Dada is still ma Dada.
The same man who would tickle me silly
i'd laugh till i cried
i'd roll on the living room floor
he'd give me his left overs
he'd bribe me. give me a five naira bill, in exchange for a bold dare-
"go slap ur sister in her face"
and i'd know better.
because the first time i did, not only did Ambition beat me shitless
but my daddy also scolded me, for being so stupid
"yes i told you to, but if i told you to jump off the balcony, wonld you do that too? dont you know the difference between right and wrong?"
he laughed at me, that husky deep throat of his
bears the coldest, yet heartiest storngest laughter
it comes from outside of him
it comes somewhere from beneath him
the source of his voice,
is the earth we thread on.
With a voice like a firery thunder,
he laughed at me, as he pulled me closer, hugging me.
"oya pele"
i remember...
Thesame man who'd beat mom into one too many uncounscious episodes,
Thesame one who i have now come to forgive
Thesame one who manages to reoffend
Thesame one who somehow, thinks he deserves that "fatherly" role
Thesame one whose love remains so unporportioned
Thesame one who i cant help but love
and hope someday, can heal, with.
My first love. My dad, never did bring the topic up again.
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
Reflex Action 2
But yesterday, I was so bored, dead tired of doing absolutely nothing, that…
Well, I called Tope- Ambition’s ex boyfriend who owed her a lot of money.
But instead I didn’t call Tope’s cell.
I called Tope’s house, knowing that his mother would answer my call.
A sleepy groggy curious feminine voice answered
“hello?”
“hi, is this Mrs. *******?”
“yes, please who is this?”
“its Truth BeTold. Ambition’s sister”
“Truth?” she repeated, confused.
“yes, Truth! I just wanted to speak with you about your son, Tope. Tope owes Ambition a lot of money, and he hasn’t paid it back” I raised my voice higher, this matter demanded that my voice’s decibel be increased “I think you need to have a word with your son, because owing someone money is one thing, but calling the person and leaving them a message, telling them never to call you to ask for your money is yet another, and I personally think that is extremely ridiculous. Mrs *****, I suggest you have a good word with your son because he definitely needs to pay my sister back her money!”
“okay, but I didn’t even know about this…”
“and I honestly think that is really silly! I blame Ambition for this. Because I cant imagine me not informing the parent of an apparently boastful boy, when he owes me money. Ambition is quite silly. If she was any smarter, she would’ve informed you much sooner. I think it is important that you’re informed about this situation.”
“But its 4 am in the morning here, and I understand that you are upset, but you have to understand that I didn’t know about this situation and for you to call me, waking me up so early in the morning…”
I interrupted “Exactly ma’am! And that was the intention. DO YOU THINK I WOULD HAVE GOTTEN A HOLD OF YOU IF I HAD CALLED IN THE DAY TIME? Mrs ****, Ambition might be my sister, but I aint as silly as she might seem to be. I am not going to call in the daytime because all I’m going to get is your kids, telling me that you aren’t home, or leaving stupid warning messages for my sister. THAT IS SOMETHING THAT I WONT BE STANDING FOR! This needs to come to an end and I think to end this, it MUST be blown out of proportion and Blowing it out of proportion is what I’m here for. Nice to meet you Mrs. *******, but my sister MUST GET PAID HER MONEY!”
“How much does he owe her?”
“at least $1500!” I cringed. The thought of it just pissed me off even more! “Isnt that nuts? How can your son owe someone such amount of money and then call the person, telling them never to call hima gain just because they cant their money back?!”
“what did he borrow it for?”
“He said he needed to pay off ANOTHER debtor and my sister being the kind but naïve girl she is, gave him the money!”
“When did he borrow the money?”
“I don’t know but I know he was suppose to pay It back about 8 months ago!”
“okay, but I’d .like to know- how did you even come into the picture? How did you come to know of this?”
I wanted to laugh! I was so angry! Was this woman indirecting asking me “how is this
I told her:
“How I know about this? I know because I HAVE READ THE EMAILS HE SENT TO HER AND I’VE ALSO HEARD THE MESSAGE HE LEFT HER! “
This is true. What Ambition didn’t know was before she told me, I’d known about his. I know a lot of things that shes done. I once hacked (don’t ask how) into her email box and got all the information. I’ve since kept Tope’s email addresses and phone number which I obtained from the email, for a day like this, when I decide to take matters into my own hands. Icontinued …
"I know! And I really wasn’t going to do anything about this but it looks like he wont be owning up to his responsibility without a jump start, so you have a word with your son and jump start him into giving my sister her money!”
“Okay, well I don’t even know anything about this and I think you should at least respect me. I am a woman of God and I don’t like dealing with issues this way”
“Its perfect that you are a man of God, so please tell your son that if he wants his prayers answered and he wants to get anywhere in life, he needs to pay my sister her money. Because I’m sure God doesn’t reward people taking advantage of kind-hearted blessed angelic souls. My sister is one of the extremely few people on this earth who should be awarded for their kindness, and I think your son is one of the reasons why we don’t have more people like her. I have told her NUMEROUS TIMES THAT BEING NICE DOESN’T GET YOU ANYWHERE! TO GET ACTIONS, YOU MUST BE ASSERTIVE AND CURT! IF SHE’D NEVER LENT HIM THE MONEY, THIS WOULDN’T HAVE HAPPENED IN THE FIRST PLACE. SHES TOO NICE AND THIS IS WHAT SHE GETS FOR IT! I’M NOT GOING TO BE NICE! NEITHER DO I THINK I SHOULD GIVE RESPECT WHEN MY SISTER IS BEING WRONGED! I’M LEARNING FROM HER MISTAKES! TALK TO YOUR SON! ”
“okay, good night”
“bye”.
That was our conversation. I’ll wait for the son of a woman to call my sister again.
I called Ambiton and told her- she was amused. She seemed hopeful that this will sure help her to get the money because he wont want his mom troubled. But I reminded her that just because you troubled someone, doesn’t mean they’ll pay you back the money. I told her- I wasn’t trying to help her get her money back, I was trying to help her show him that she isn’t passive. She too, can fight back. well, sorta ;)
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Reflex action
Today, i woke up with a headache
got some school stuff sorted out
and went over to see Ambition
We went shopping
and even though her birthday was four mouths ago,
i got her a gift
a red pant suit.
she looked so nice in it.
its a change from her usual old fashion outfits
we went to grab a bite to eat, and
we talked
and i almost cried for the things she told me
This reminds me of Waffi's post titled "Seeking out the weak"
Ambition, in this case, is the weak
and its so hard watching her get hurt.
Like a reflex action, i cant help it
as i hold out my hands, to brace her fall,
i know i probably aint helping
how do you know never to hit the bottom
if you dont know how hard it hurts?
I want to let her fall
But i cant
she is my sister
and i love her
so today, i had a heart to heart with her,
took the motherfucker (AKA her ex)'s number,
i'll be giving him a call
so i can have a heart to fuckin heart with the son of a bitch
and no i wont be calling at a regular hour
i'll be calling his house- his family's house
at 2am in the morning
so that the mother, the father, and all the rest of the people in the house can wake up,
smell the coffee,
and hopefully realise, that "dada ole ja, sugbon o ni aburo ti o gbo ju"
yes, Ambition isnt very assertive
but shes got a sister, who breathes, speaks and walks fire
and they're all about to get burnt!
the family needs to come to terms with the fact that
they have a thief living right under their roof.
and this'll happen sometime later, at 2am in the morning.
stay tuned.
got some school stuff sorted out
and went over to see Ambition
We went shopping
and even though her birthday was four mouths ago,
i got her a gift
a red pant suit.
she looked so nice in it.
its a change from her usual old fashion outfits
we went to grab a bite to eat, and
we talked
and i almost cried for the things she told me
This reminds me of Waffi's post titled "Seeking out the weak"
Ambition, in this case, is the weak
and its so hard watching her get hurt.
Like a reflex action, i cant help it
as i hold out my hands, to brace her fall,
i know i probably aint helping
how do you know never to hit the bottom
if you dont know how hard it hurts?
I want to let her fall
But i cant
she is my sister
and i love her
so today, i had a heart to heart with her,
took the motherfucker (AKA her ex)'s number,
i'll be giving him a call
so i can have a heart to fuckin heart with the son of a bitch
and no i wont be calling at a regular hour
i'll be calling his house- his family's house
at 2am in the morning
so that the mother, the father, and all the rest of the people in the house can wake up,
smell the coffee,
and hopefully realise, that "dada ole ja, sugbon o ni aburo ti o gbo ju"
yes, Ambition isnt very assertive
but shes got a sister, who breathes, speaks and walks fire
and they're all about to get burnt!
the family needs to come to terms with the fact that
they have a thief living right under their roof.
and this'll happen sometime later, at 2am in the morning.
stay tuned.
Ambition,
i just want it known
that i love you
more than my favorite purse,
more than the one i stole from you,
more than winning arguments,
more than sex with Chad
more than a dishwahsher that actually works
more than having a maid
more mango flavoured ice cream.
I love you Ambition,
for not just being a sister, but also a good friend.
that i love you
more than my favorite purse,
more than the one i stole from you,
more than winning arguments,
more than sex with Chad
more than a dishwahsher that actually works
more than having a maid
more mango flavoured ice cream.
I love you Ambition,
for not just being a sister, but also a good friend.
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