Tuesday, May 27, 2008


So, Miss Kiss Chika woke me outta my slumber... i was tagged. Alright so here we go! 6 quirks:

1. I once slept for a day and a half- straight. I woke up wondering what day it was. I can sleep like a polarbear!

2. My memory and concentration is as fleeting as water is liquid. Something tells me it wont ever change... A lot of times i'd get angry at people but forget what it was they did to me, yet the anger would linger on! Its so sad

3. I'm addicted to the colour green. Its all over my place and i wanted to get a green car but unfortunately... I've got NO green thumb (i'm bad with plants). Whatever plant i get, always dies! But i got 4 plants two weeks ago because they'd go with my green decor :) ... well before they wither and die off anyway...

4. I dont call my family members unless i have to. I just dont. I dont know why. They always end up calling me. They're so used to it by now. Matter of fact, Moma called today and Ambiition called the day before... i'll return their calls when i'm ready.

5. I have a thing for small cars. I've got a current love afair with Scions and Minis... currently dating another small one too.

6. I LOVE PETS!!! (Chika this is where we're tres different). I just got back from a dog park where i went to see if i'd find a 140pound dog that i had met there the last time i was there.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

I'm sorry.

Deeply i am.
For not calling, though you're terribly ill
If i had called, you would have asked how i've been doing
And in your book, theres no excuse for failing
And I, am just not so good
at lying.

Friday, May 9, 2008

He floated away

Okay so i got home, it was already dark out so it was later in the evening. I got home only to see this unknown man, laying on my couch! And he was there, with a dog that i didnt actually pay much attention to. But it was a small- breed type of Dog,... kinda like Darque...

So anyway, for some reason, i didnt fret when i saw him because although i didnt know who it was, somehow, i also knew.

He was dark skinned, tall, older, with a greying beard that constrasts with his balding head. With all this said, he was semi attractive nonetheless.

So we got to talking,and i layed on the couch with him, behind him. As we talked, i found myself liking this man. And as we talked, i found myself raising my right leg to nestle it on his... and then i caught myself! what the hell was i doing? i hardly knew this man!

I was confused. I liked him... for some reason i couldnt explain. He seemed like cream... easy like he'd taste so good to be with. So i called Kiss and told her about him. But as i narrated my tres short experience with this misterious man of mine, i realised (along with her... "we" realised) that something wasn't right. This man seemed odd. How the hell did he get into my apartment? And how the hell-ier did he manage to talk to me well enough that i lost my reasonings... i mean, wtf was going on?!
Kiss and i decided i'd pray about it.

Then i was back on the couch with the mysterious man. And he was holding me within his arms... we were laying down... things were calm as i said "In Jesus Name". He flinched. Clenched his arms around me, tightening it like he was about to lose his life. But like he didnt want me to know, he didnt protest. And he said nothing.

But by then, i had gotten my confirmation. Whatever this man was, was wrong. He was an evil, devilish entity.

And as i tried to repeat Jesus's name, i found that my organs couldnt move anymore. I was alive, thinking and breathing but my throat was paralyzed,and my tongue weighed a ton. My lips, lost all motor skills... Like it is when a person gets ALS, i was frozen in body, though my thoughts were well alive.

I realised that i was in the devil's arms. I called on the name of Jesus in my mind, continuously and slowly, my lips began to gain control. Though my voice wouldnt come, i mouthed his name "Jesus" ... and his gift "The blood of Jesus" and like i had turned to fire, he slowly released his grip on me...
he got up... i dont know if i saw him walk because now it seems to me like he floated through the room... he floated through the window and i could see him outside through my sunroom. He looked back at me.

My voice had returned as i said "I bind you in the name of Jesus" as he faded away...

Then i woke up.

This one wasnt even in the night. This was a day-mare

Sunday, May 4, 2008


You dont know, but you are my love.
And i dont know when we started
but you've lived, long before i caught up with you
right out' his mouth like a flying dolphin, welmed, diving into my ears as you escaped the air
i rememeber rolling you in my tongue, kinda like i am now... rolling you in my words
See me see you as we make love simile
you dont have any idea
how much i love that moment
when i fell madly
deeply truly got you fucked up
in this bed of my tongue
with them pearly headboards

as i melted you into my sub
consciously like a knowing smile
and made love to you
smiling, i said you

"Simile, as i owe it to you, this game we played,
lovingly gamete-ly secretly i promise you
i'll name our baby after you"

Saturday, May 3, 2008

OMG! My baby is a WOMAN!!!

well... maybe not a "woman" per say, but a an adult-feminine entity nonetheless!

Darque got her period today.

(And for many of you(s) who had NO idea that bitches (lol) get menstrual periods, dont feel ashamed. I had no idea neither until recently)

Friday, May 2, 2008

Unwanted stones in my basmati :(

"I can somehow get by, using my toys to get myself to come whenever i want while lying to you that i dont want/need you. And i guess you too can do thesame; use "palm-ella" everytime you felt like having me while trying to convince yourself that its just as good. but... i dont ever want that sort of relationship with you; I'd rather not have one with you at all. I was upset on our way to your place and that isnt unusual. As you can tell, when I'm bothered by something, I find it really hard not to dwell on it and I'll admit its one of my many flaws but i doubt its one that'll be changing anytime soon so bear with me. With that aside, i dont wnat to keep retaliating negative vibes/behaviours with you because that wont do us anygood. When you'd said "no", i was upset because i felt rejected and i felt a little uneasy because i felt like i had entered into some sort of game that i wasn't expecting and didnt want. I understand that you probably had similar feelings when i refused to have sex with you and if i made you feel unwanted or inadequate in any way, i'm sorry.I didnt say "no" for any other reason other than that i was exhausted and i was hoping you would understand. And i hope you understand that I'll try my best to please and care for you but i cant always get it right and when i dont, i expect you to understand. Again, a few years ago i wouldn't mind playing this game with you but i'm not interested in playing now. I'm hoping you'd rather exclude the games too because I (obviously) have a crush :) on you."