A new pair of specs

Sometimes I forget
That you are a reminder to me
That I am not a mere commodity
To be taken for granted.
I forget that there is a lot in each human interaction
And so much more in ours
Because you are a sticky for me
To note, remember, that although I know myself each day
See myself each day
Live me each day
I really should not forget
That I am still one great, strong piece of work.
The words you tell me often bother me
Too many times, I thought
How many more times will you tell me I am awesome
You’re an awesome woman, homegrown
And I blush, and cringe
Because though flatering to hear
It becomes difficult to believe
That a person I have known all my life
Can be this great
That I can truly be a gem worth treasuring
That I could have truly, slept on myself
It is shameful, really
But I need your eyes, I need to see me the way you see me.
That may be the purpose of you being here
And really, If for nothing else,
I at the very least, thank you for bringing me this.

Sept 20 5:54pm

Near End

I feel
like i am near end and its chilly out here
like
my winter is coming and i am not ready
i feel like i am
......
i am scared.
of what is to come.
and i want to stop it.
but i couldnt help that one time.
so i cried.

i am. getting there.
and i dont want to be.

Lost (continued)

and only 50minutes later, the circle has been completed.
And i hate to say i told you so
so i wont.
but i will ask
"So, babe...Is this it? Or will you need to make yet, another round?"

Let me never know beauty, if it isnt me.

Love is blind. its true. So i love myself, blindly. I choose to remain blind and refuse whatever interfering beliefs anyone or anything might suggest. I love the baby i was. I love the girl i was. I love the lady i am. I love even much more, the woman i'll become. I admire her, that is to come of me.

I love the dark tones that demarcates the darkness of the rest of my body from the lighter tones of my palms. I love the two dimples on the back of my hips. I love my left hip thats not as curvy as the right, and the right that struggles to be noticed each time i wear a tight-fitted dress. I love my elbows that reminds me not to be forgotten everytime i dont lube them. i love my face... oh... how i love my face! Love it's cheekbones that seems to disclose my originality from miles away.i love it's skin for struggling with me, through every doubt, every trial, every single way... i love my skin. For i know i was destined to be flawed, yet you remain strong. I love the corns on my left foot. Lmao oh wow... poor thing. Having one foot thats substantially larger than the other has finally taken its toll. When i tell people i'm both a size 7.5 and 8.5, they tend to think i'm kidding. oh, left foot! You taught me a lesson in beauty. Beauty, is you.

I love the scar on my left leg. Its encouraged my memory to never forget where i've been, where i'm from, and where i want to go. I love my back. I say to my back; "Back, i tell you... if i could have your tone all over me, i'd be the darkest chocolate money cant buy". I love my butt. Oh, how i have struggled with that part of my body... till i told myself..." I want to remain struggle-free". I have the best flaws on the soles of my feet and only I can understand this when i say that that is where my favourite passtime is...

I loved the mole on my face. I miss it. I had it till last month when suddenly, it began to bleed, and after a few days, it fell off. I'll miss the days when i use to hear people say "oh, theres something on your face" and they'd go ahead and try to wipe it off as i'd reply "its a mole". lol I love my waist; my premature love handles... I love the little rotund meat at the base of my tummytomtom... and laugh i hear when people claim that i dont have a tommytomtom. I love the map on my stomach. I have a birthmark that looks like some sort of map... i should post a pic of it, just in case someone knows which country's map it resembles. I call it the "Map of Africa". I want to see how it'd look if ever i get pregnant. I love the mole under my left breast. And the fact that i dont wax my floors. I dont feel like i should be killing myself shaving my puchichi if men arent socially required to do so. I'd like to know why i should be required to shave my privates if i'm a grown woman. If a man wants to sex a child, thats his own palava. I on the other hand, am a woman. So no, i dont shave my peeweewee... i admit i do it for bathing suits and sometimes because the hair gets in the way...

I love the fact that my breasts are confrontational. They litterally, call for attention. These babies, are bold. They stand, errect, and wont accept any less... and the molten lava of blackness that mounts them... my nipples, lol well, those are in their own league. It amazes me how i can still sometimes see my nipples poping through layers of clothes and padded bras... May God be praised. I love my knees.

I love my hair. Oh, how i love my hair. Its the easiest thing to alter on me and probably the most versatile. I love that its infected me with beauty. My hair as made me love it. I love that its dark ashy brown color got me a lot of teases as a child and that its scanty soft curls still persist. I love that it never rages against me and that it forgives me, continuously. I take my hair on journeys, and it simply submits, knowing that every single one will be an adventure. Its been there through my days of nubian journeys, my years of weaves, and those days when i was lost in a sea of life's silly demands... us black girls are special for this. It takes a lot to learn to love your hair. Layers and layers of veils remain adamant that beauty isn't this. lol i tell you, one of the best features of me, crowns my head.

I love my ears that are barely there. I love that they never caused me any heartache and appreciate that. I love my neck that once needed help lol. I love my lips, my tongue for remaining in close ties with my heart and concience. I love my nose. I think thats the one thing i've never been criticised for, that i on the other hand, have criticised myself for. i love that its taught me that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And for that reason, i have chosen to behold the beauty in it. I love my eyebrows!!! All 19 strands of hair on them lol. I love that they have taught me the art of "brow drawing".

I love my eyes and thank God for them. My 20/20vision is well appreciated. For i have seen plenty in my 20some years. Enough to thank God for. Let love be blind, let me never know beauty, if it isn't me. For i'd much rather intoxicate myself with this beauty than any other that deceives me of what true beauty is.