Jack Jean-Maygne, its over

I saw this boy walking in the hallway
I couldnt believe it
I knew it was him
I had worked here for 3 years and never had i seen him come there!
and although i knew i looked like shit
i couldnt help it
i had to say hi to Jack

"Jack?" i called out. It seemed like it took 2 years before he looked back and saw me.
"oh my god! wassup?"
"nothin... your mom works here, right?"
"ya how'd you know?"
by word was he ever handsome? i looked around and wondered if my coworkers and clients could tell that i was blushing. i wondered if he could tell... i wondered if he remembered that night...

High school days...

Jack called me over to his place
he looked worried. he came in the back of his house and asked me if i knew what a big dick looked like.
i said "sure"... "of course" ... i wasnt sure but i couldnt show my uncertainty. He thought i knew everything. i didnt want to disappoint him.

"okay, i wonder if i'm big or just normal"
"whoop it out. lemme see..." i said boldly "i'll tell you what size you are"
"no just feel it"
he pulled his baggy pants down a little. well enough for me to see his BULGE.
he then pulled his boxers out by its waist. At this moment, i cursed the night shadows for hiding his dick. i couldnt see it. But i would feel it.

I dip'd my right hand into his boxer, and felt the biggest largest dick i have ever felt.
i couldnt believe he was bigger than my man. I mean... he was only a BOY! i was dating a full grown man! I cursed myself for not being his girl... and then i remembered i still had my hand down his pants and immediately, retratcted it.
I looked up to his face to see him searching my eyes for an answer.
i told him the truth
"you're pretty big"
"really? you think so?"
"ya, quite big"
he was happy. i ran home.
he called me later to make me promise never to tell anyone i touched his dick.
i promised.
and now,
i'm breaking that promise.

why?

Because its over between me and Jean.
when he came in today i saw the crush i had.
i saw the many times i called Jack.
The many times i was told he isnt home, and the many times he never returned my calls.
I saw the night i saw him with a white girl at a festival.
i was looking smashing!
He hardly said hi.
Henry was also there.
He huged me, and gave me a warm "where you been?"
But the girl jack was with.... she didnt look right.
she was tall, white and sleezy
what was he doing with her?

He once came over to my house and had to jump over the fence barefooted to hide at the next door neighbour's fence just because my mom had walked into the house.
My mom probably suspected something anyway since he left his shoes at the front door.
i remember how i fet so sorry for him because he had just returned from the hospital- he had to have an abdominal surgery. i remember how much i appologised when he said my neighbour saw him and freaked out at him.
I remember how much i wanted him.

...And how much he wanted my friend; Niki.
he wanted her, but couldnt have her.
she belonegd to a social class that he could only dream of.
i remembered being his ticket to his freedom out of the social class he was in.
he had taken pics that i had circulated around the school- these pics showed just how hot he was.
lots of girls saw the pics and said
"is that Jack?"
"thats Jack? are you kidding me? hes so cute!"

i remember me telling him what the girls were saying. and i remember watching him blush every single time.

so tonight when i said
"oh, jack give me a minute..." as i returned to my duties,
and he replied "okay"
i shouldnt have been suprised.
but i was.
i was suprised to realise that Jack didnt wait.
When i went to say hi to his mom (but i really just wanted to see Jack),
he had left.

so me and jack, ... we're over.
jack never saw what i had for him.
he was my best friend.
my first guy friend.
i would have done so much for him.
the longest crush i ever had.
but it didnt matter
because, he never even knew.

Remembering... Jack Jean-Maygne

Jack...
ohhh jack...
Jack is a friend i met at school
i had just transffered to a new high school
and i had seen Jack around the school
but Jack didnt catch my eye
neither did anyone else really
I was battling my own troubles,
enough to make me blind to the men around me

But jack
ohhh jack...
Jack started talking to me at school.
When he noticed i lived up the street from him
i'd bump into him on my way from school
and he had such a sweet smile
and although he wasnt one of the popular boys
i saw his beauty
he was so fine
i saw Jack.

But Jack didnt see me.
or did he?

Jack had a childhood friend named Henry. They were like twins. I had a thing for him too. Didnt dare tell anyone. didnt wanna ruin the friendship between us.

But i should have. Because a mutual friend later told me years after graduation that his twin had the bggest crush on me, but he couldnt tell me ... aint dat sad? i saw him a year ago at the local movie theatre. he didnt look thesame. he also didnt care thesame. said "hi" to me like i wasnt nothing. so i replied "how are you?" to him like he was almost forgotten. thats the end of the story of me, and Henry.

At this time when i knew Jack and Henry, they were friends with my female friends in school. I was dating a much older photographer, and he had taken some nude professional (reaaally nice) pics of me. I being the daring silly shameless girl that i can sometimes be, decided to bring the pics to school, and show them to these friends. They werent my friends for real. They passed the pics onto Jack and Henry. I was upset and disappointed. I ran after Jack and Henry, embarrassed and desperate to recover the pics before they too disappoint me, by showing the pics to other people. They didnt.

They called me aside, asked me to catch ma breath (it was strenuous running after the two guys), and simply asked questions about who took them, when and similar Qns. They complimented me (boys will be boys), and asked if they could have copies (again, boys will be boys). i refused blatantly. They gave up, returned my pics and that was it.

But our friendship continued.
I and Jean got closer. He'd confront me about his girls (which was hard since i wanted him), which were usually light skinned (usually not black), long hair, skinny, pretty, chicks... i knew i wasnt his type. I'd always give him honest advises and my advises always worked. He even went as far as recommending Henry to speak with me when he had "girl issues". It was cool.

I liked them both.

Jack for his skin tone, his pretty face, and his height.
Henry had the charisma. Oh ma gawd! he was so sweet.
Henry had the ability to make me laugh till my ribs ached.
He never said it, but i knew Jack envied Henry for this because
Although Henry was obese, he had girls wanting him
because he had that "thing"... he was charismic
Together, they were perfect.
And I was in love.