Jack Jean-Maygne, its over

I saw this boy walking in the hallway
I couldnt believe it
I knew it was him
I had worked here for 3 years and never had i seen him come there!
and although i knew i looked like shit
i couldnt help it
i had to say hi to Jack

"Jack?" i called out. It seemed like it took 2 years before he looked back and saw me.
"oh my god! wassup?"
"nothin... your mom works here, right?"
"ya how'd you know?"
by word was he ever handsome? i looked around and wondered if my coworkers and clients could tell that i was blushing. i wondered if he could tell... i wondered if he remembered that night...

High school days...

Jack called me over to his place
he looked worried. he came in the back of his house and asked me if i knew what a big dick looked like.
i said "sure"... "of course" ... i wasnt sure but i couldnt show my uncertainty. He thought i knew everything. i didnt want to disappoint him.

"okay, i wonder if i'm big or just normal"
"whoop it out. lemme see..." i said boldly "i'll tell you what size you are"
"no just feel it"
he pulled his baggy pants down a little. well enough for me to see his BULGE.
he then pulled his boxers out by its waist. At this moment, i cursed the night shadows for hiding his dick. i couldnt see it. But i would feel it.

I dip'd my right hand into his boxer, and felt the biggest largest dick i have ever felt.
i couldnt believe he was bigger than my man. I mean... he was only a BOY! i was dating a full grown man! I cursed myself for not being his girl... and then i remembered i still had my hand down his pants and immediately, retratcted it.
I looked up to his face to see him searching my eyes for an answer.
i told him the truth
"you're pretty big"
"really? you think so?"
"ya, quite big"
he was happy. i ran home.
he called me later to make me promise never to tell anyone i touched his dick.
i promised.
and now,
i'm breaking that promise.

why?

Because its over between me and Jean.
when he came in today i saw the crush i had.
i saw the many times i called Jack.
The many times i was told he isnt home, and the many times he never returned my calls.
I saw the night i saw him with a white girl at a festival.
i was looking smashing!
He hardly said hi.
Henry was also there.
He huged me, and gave me a warm "where you been?"
But the girl jack was with.... she didnt look right.
she was tall, white and sleezy
what was he doing with her?

He once came over to my house and had to jump over the fence barefooted to hide at the next door neighbour's fence just because my mom had walked into the house.
My mom probably suspected something anyway since he left his shoes at the front door.
i remember how i fet so sorry for him because he had just returned from the hospital- he had to have an abdominal surgery. i remember how much i appologised when he said my neighbour saw him and freaked out at him.
I remember how much i wanted him.

...And how much he wanted my friend; Niki.
he wanted her, but couldnt have her.
she belonegd to a social class that he could only dream of.
i remembered being his ticket to his freedom out of the social class he was in.
he had taken pics that i had circulated around the school- these pics showed just how hot he was.
lots of girls saw the pics and said
"is that Jack?"
"thats Jack? are you kidding me? hes so cute!"

i remember me telling him what the girls were saying. and i remember watching him blush every single time.

so tonight when i said
"oh, jack give me a minute..." as i returned to my duties,
and he replied "okay"
i shouldnt have been suprised.
but i was.
i was suprised to realise that Jack didnt wait.
When i went to say hi to his mom (but i really just wanted to see Jack),
he had left.

so me and jack, ... we're over.
jack never saw what i had for him.
he was my best friend.
my first guy friend.
i would have done so much for him.
the longest crush i ever had.
but it didnt matter
because, he never even knew.