How an orphan sold me coffee.

I still dont know how i lost you. I mean, we were good together, werent we?
Somewhere along the line, oceans dried up. They must've. I mean, i swore that'd be the only time we'd part.
Somewhere in some hill or wherever MountKilimanjaro is, it must've flattened...
I was so sure we'd always be...
together.
what happened?
circumstances baby! circumstances led to this. led to the time you came through, bashed into ma home, welcomed you.
You were there and then i arrived and you were to be my sister.
My first sister.
You were the eldest, the "better" sister.
What happened to you?
Out in that open world somewhere within those taller tales of lies and corruption, you live.
I hope you do.
God Jesus, i cant imagine what you been through!
To ma one and only sister! The one aunt i knew was mine, what happened to you!
What happened to me?
what in the name of blessed memories, happened? to us?!
And here i am thinking of troubles and love, wondering where this life of a thing is bringing me yet there you are! doing what?
Jesus Christ!
If any truths ever been spoken pls believe i am so sorry! Because life pulled me away, life pulled you astray! life pulled us away and i didnt struggle to fight.
Neither did you...
and now you are gone.
And so am I.
I remember, i'd watch you stick ur napkins to the bottom of ur panties and i'd imagine the day i'd get to do thesame. I should let you know; i first bled at 15.
You! with that similar insecurity that you passed through to me, you'd check your thigh and emphasize on size "its jiggly"! I'd watch you smile, knowing what you meant. To you, "Jiggly" meant fat, which meant beautiful in at the time when life was still real which was sad because you had no fat on you, but you sure could lie! Anything to make yourself feel beautiful. You were the only beauty that inspired me. Forget "yellow". Yellow is the colour of sickled cells.
Black was the colour of you. You reminded me of coffee...
Your beauty was so fake, yet you wore no make-up. Your beauty was surreal! i couldnt believe none of it! I mean, how could i? you didnt look like the models on TV commercials, you didnt sound like the girls men sang about...
As traces of the song... plays in ma head... every saturday morning, i'd be reminded...
"Omopupa oooo, omopupa lemin fe. omopupa o, jowo moferan re o
light skinned girl, light skinned girl is what i want, light skinned girl, oh how i want you"
... damn! i still remmebr it...
it lingers on... yet... i knew i was being tricked!
i couldnt be tricked!
you stood! a splitting image of what i wanted ot be! Beautiful as an untainted black diamond! Skin aglow like its been retouched! Your beauty was so real, it was fake! I swore you'd been photoshopped!
Your skin tone was, IS just like mine and even though i couldnt help but watch the Tura skin lightening tubes thin to nothing... you never did get lighter...
but the maids sure did.
I'm remmebering an orphan! who might have forgotten herself in a life thats full of spindles. Well if you get pricked, you know where to turn. Right into yourself for safety baby because where in this motherfucking world, is the love?
at 36, i picture you! a princess! who has ever heard of this?! roaming the motherfucking streets in a country where the most females are married by 26! you're at least 10 years behind! And i know what the rumours will be like... No, you're not a sugar mommy, though if you decide to be one, hell i wont blame you! No, you're neither a prostitute nor a regect though i could say you are because too many "Fiances" have passed thru but who am i to complain, who am i to blame them when even I your sister, your neice.... i left you...
You got caught in emotional battles between adults who didnt know no better than to act like pure kids, thiefing your rights away from you so i ask in the name of Jesus or anything that i can motherfucking pray to right now, WHERE IS GOD??!!!
if not by an orphan child who has had no break,
tell me, where is He?!!!
But i really should let the world know; Dola gave me my idea of beauty. She told me what beauty is through actions.Though she wore no makeup, her beauty was so surreal, it must've been fake. I am amazed how in a world where papaya was the best drug, Dola got me hooked, on coffee coloured skin tones.