TEN Commandments: On Men.

1. Thou shalt demand of them to surpass your expectations. You must demand that they surpass your expectations. NUMBER ONE RULE! Never settle! The people you settle for end up being the total idiots who never deserved you in the first place. its true! i type this with a lot of data to back it up. If you settle, you'll regret it after you'd broken up. You'll tell yourself "and to think i was only settling for him in the first place".
2. Thou shalt accept only they who enriches your life and encourages your dreams. Only accept men who enriches your life and encourages you to dream. i once had a man (Kimani) who trophysized (yes, go google that word up lol) me. He hald me in such high regards and showed me off as often as he could. what he loved in me? the fact that i had a career at 21. okay but let me add this: that wasnt the issue. I loved that i was his trophy. But i couldnt stand that that was good enough for him. He didnt encourage my dreams. I wanted to accomplish much more but he didnt desire anymore from me. Kimani didnt bother... to him, i was set for life. And to make matters worse, he was a 419er. Okay, who needs one of those in their lives? (definitely nes pas moi ). I was his trophy, and he was my mistake. okay, moving on: i mean, whatever happened to having a man who actually cares enough to say "Truth, err... i know you want to go out partying right now but did you forget that you have a paper due tomorrow?" or "Truth, have you found a research paper for your assignment because i think i might've found one for you" or even better "Truth baby, we should go on a vacation. I think you need a break from this stress..." like, whatever happened to that? I want a man who enriches me, who beautifies my tapestry of experiences. I want a man who'll rock me... i dont want yet, another waste of time. i want a man who has got enough soul to light the world up. it takes that much soul, to ignite my body.
3. Thou shalt not discriminate. Do not discriminate against races, in choosing a partner. I think i'm as ignorant as they come and i really need to stop being like this. Discrimination is the product of ignorance and ignorance dulls virtuous souls. I will not discriminate against race. Having said that, i know i cant possibly be attracted to everyone of every race. I understand that its okay to have preferences. By the way, if Mama was to see this, she would be furious but i think its already well established, i'm not going to limit myself to Nigerian men just because I'm Nigerian.
4. Honour thyself with truth for there is no happiness, love, joy or peace in deceit of self. Truth, be truthful with yourself because you cant attain love, happiness, or peace with another if you cant be truthful with you. if i cant be truthful to myself i cant expect anyone to be truthful to me. In turn, i refuse to build a relationship founded off of lies or deceit so if a man cant be absolutely truthful with me, then i need not involve myself with him. As most people already know, i place emphacy on truth. I think with truth, all things are possible...
5. Never put forth before thyself, he who puts thee after another.Do not put a man before yourself if you dont come first to him. i usually have no trouble with this. If i dont come first to a person, it only makes sense that that person shouldnt come first to me. For example, if i put a person first and he puts himself first, then where the hell would i stand in both our lives? i've decided to love after being loved. Please, dont get me wrong. It isnt the best way for everybody to be, but it is for me. I (especially in my recent cases with Chisel Coco) tend to love deeply... so deeply that i lose myself. So deeply that i give all, i mean alll..... leaving nothing for me... i literally, give all of me. And i attach, and forget me. I dont want to love like that ever again. That love, kills. That love hurts, that love blinds... i didnt see Chisel for the deceitful being that he is, till i had given all my heart to him. Do you know how hard it was for me to get it back? i'm still nursing my sores. i'll never love first. I want to be loved, wanted, yearned for... then i'll consider reciprocating that love. Its safer for me. Therefore, if a man hasnt put it all out on the table, i'm keeping all ma shit in ma purse.
6. Thou shall not accept men of unhealthy habits (or souls) which you have deemed unacceptable Do not accept men who have unhealthy habits e.g cigarrette smoking (Kimani), excessive drinking (Kimani), drugging (Kimani), ignorance (lol yeah i know, i know... i had mentioned that i'm ignorant...), apathy , pride (Chisel's hallmark character. Please do keep in mind that there is healthy pride and then there is unhealthy pride), etc Okay,if you've read "Sermon's" blog, this sort of ties in with one the points he made. A man who lives his life in unhealthy ways and i not only mean physically unhealthy like eating habits, living situation etc but also spiritually and mentally unhealthy like a man with such characters as gossiping (by the way, this is the single most irritating character a man can have.), is a prude, is combative, etc.... Like i had menationed in #2: i'm trying to enrich my life, not destroy it! a man who posesses unhealthy characters is cancerous. He'll slowly infect you, and literally metastisize and infect your soul.
7. Covet only men with post secondary education and or with careers. Only get involved with men with post postsecondary education and or careers.Okay, going to the university of Idunmota Lagos to study Political Science doesnt count IF you've been abroad for years. Why? because if you cant work with your degree, i dont believe in the degree! If you cant acheieve your dream job, then how am i to believe that you're a reasonable person? And if you've been away from Africa for so long and you havent gotten a job in that field, why in the name of apples, havent you gone back to school to get into something else that might interest you, that'll get you a good career? I like PROACTIVE men, not men that sit around and pity themselves everyday. I once met a Benin (the country) man who was an athelete back home. His dream was to maintain his career as a racer (Track), yet, this man worked at the local grocery store. How do i dream and make plans with a man who cant dream for himself? Okay, i'd like to take this chance to say IT DOES NOT MATTER IF YOU ARE THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNIVERSE, if you dont like your career. So, with that said, i wouldn't want to be with a person who doesnt enjoy what he does regardless what it is that he does. Because i think for a man to have chosen a career, he should have at least researched it enough to know that it is right for him and say he had gotten into it before he realised this, then i'd prefer if he was on his way, in shcool, studying to change his career. Its part of taking charge of your life. I cant stand a man who bitches about something, yet takes NO step to change it. I mean its your life, take a friggin charge.
8. Remember, two proud bitches canst dwell in thesame heart. Do not date proud men as you are already proud enough for the two of you which is why i cant be with yet another proud person. I'm proud enough for the two of us. Besides, pride makes me emetic. I dont mind being proud (okay, fine i'll consider being a little more humble) but i cant stand it in men. I mean, i want a man i can talk to, without reservations. A man that can expect me to be myself and that wouldnt discriminate me for being me.
9. Thou artst deserving of a of adoration and shall accept nothing but. You deserve to be adored and you should accept nothing but a man who adores you. I think thats pretty well put, dont you think? I know what i deserve... i want a man i can adore but i couldnt possibly respect a man enough to do that, if he didnt adore me. I want to love, spiritually... i want to love, wholely... in every way possible. Again, without reservations. i want to feel like a princess, like a queen. like his princess, like his queen. i want to rule over his heart, and him mine. I want to be appreciated for everything that i am. I can see the beauty in almost anything. I want a man who sees the beauty in me, who gets drunk off of it, is willing to remain intoxicated with it, and praises me for it. I am that. I am that girl that does this for a man i truly love. If i am to be involved with anyone ever again, i want a man who is that, too.
10. Thou shalt love thyself regardless. Do love yourself regardless. ahh... and this is the best one of them all... i'd rather be single and happy than be hooked and be unhappy. I am so thankful to God because i know that i have been given a sacred gift. I love myself, no matter what. This is my cardinal character. It is the one reason, that Truth is Truth. It is the one thing that defines and drives me. Is it possible for another person other than God to love me as i love myself? If it is, then why should i ever be with a person who doesnt love me as much as i love myself?