My fine is... $445.....HoW mUcH dO yOu OwE???

This is fun to do. Just read the 'offence' and if you've done it, you owe that fine.

You don't have to confess your answers (but i've highlighted mine), just the amount of your fine.

NOTE fines to be added once, not for how ever many times you have done it.


Smoked weed -- £10

Smoked ciggarettes -- $10

Did acid or pills -- £5

Ever had sex at church -- £25

Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you -- £40

Had sex with someone on MySpace/Facebook/Bebo/Hi5 etc -- £25

Had sex for money -- £100

Ever had sex with a Puerto Rican -- £20

Vandalized something -- £20

Had sex on yours or anyone's parents' bed -- £10

Beat up someone -- £20

Been jumped -- £10

Cross dressed -- £10

Given money to stripper -- £25

Been in love with a stripper -- £20

Kissed someone who's name you didn't know -- £0.10

Hit on some one of the same sex while at work -- £15

Ever drive and drank -- £20

Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk -- £50

Used toys while having sex -- £30

Got drunk, passed out and don't remember the night before -- £20

Went skinny dipping -- £5

Had sex in a pool -- £20

Kissed someone of the same sex -- £10

Had sex with someone of the same sex -- £20

Cheated on your significant other -- £10

Masturbated -- £10

Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend -- £20

Done oral -- £5

Got oral -- £5

Done / got oral in a vehicle while it was moving -- £25

Stole something -- £10

Had sex with someone in jail -- £25

Made a nasty home video or took pictures -- £15

Had a threesome -- £50

Had sex in public -- £20

Been in the same room while someone was having sex --£25

Stole something worth over more than a hundred quid-- £20

Had sex with someone 10 years older -- £20

Had sex with someone under the age accepted by rule of thumb (half your age plus 7) -- £25

Been in love with two people or more at the same time-- £50

Said you love someone but didn't mean it -- £25

Went streaking -- £5

Went streaking in broad daylight -- £15

Fantacized about someone of the oposite sex -- 5

Been arrested -- £5

Spent time in jail -- £15

Pissed in the pool -- £0.50

Played spin the bottle -- £5

Done something you regret -- £20

Had sex with your best friend -- £20

Had sex with someone you work with at work -- £25

Had anal sex -- £80

Lied to your mate -- £5

Lied to your mate about the sex being good -- £25




OKAY, now...
i tag anyone thats ever looked back and thought "dayuum! i'm so bad!"
heres what you do...
Tally it up and title it: "My Fine Is..." copy, paste and post it on ur blog...

Farewell, consillium!

Loving; this moment, here.

alone in a shed, with ma breaths ...can hear ma own beats

shower-fresh long ebonic legs strethched far above piles

yes piles.

piles piles and piles of money spent...

i once thought these were worth the price.

now i laugh as their time passes. Envogue- was vogue.

almost time to re-furnish.

closet empty with hangers waiting.

boxes packed full of what makes me me...

soon they'll be all gone...

they'll be all gone...

it'll be all gone.

loving this moment here.

knowing its only but a lil while then i gotta go.

4,3,2,1, GO!

loving this moment here, sniffin the memories in,

knowing how much i'll miss this space.

i was here, he was here, she was here.

we were here.

dinner nights, party nights, crying nights, trying nights...

nights when 3 made a wheel

and 2 made a brawl

nights when we tested faith

nights when faith almost did us in...

nights i couldnt get up,

nights i couldnt stay up...

i remember the night i almost lost it.

and the nights words became bytes...

little links and codes masked angers and frustrations

but masks are masks

they still existed.

i will miss the nights

where ur memories linger...

you were there because you were meant to be.

i am not angry at you, nor me.

i have learnt to take it as it is.

sometimes i wonder if i'll ever miss what we were.

But do thank God for what we were.

far more though,

i will miss the love.

the first place i ever loved.

i dreamt you up before you came.

Consillium. I will miss my home.

MEME 3!!!

WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU?
by telling them

SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED
"a number from one to a hundred"

BLONDES OR BRUNETTES?
neither

WHAT IS THE ONE NUMBER YOU CALL OFTEN?
Chinas'. Dat girl is always up and even when she isnt, she picks up. lol

WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST LATELY?
the fact that i seem to have mastered the art of procrastination

ANYONE EVER SPIT ON U?
my dad! that man is odd... he use to do it as a joke...

YOUR WEAKNESSES
anyting to do with timing, parties, soca, makossa, dark skinned men, white teeth, intelligent men, nature-valley's sweet n salty peanut butter and oatmeal bars

WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST JOB?
model and movie extra when i was 14

EVER DONE A PRANK CALL?
lol all the time! did them in my teenage years alot. matter of fact, i might do one right now

WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED OUT THIS SURVEY?
chatting with LilSis on msn and packing

IF YOU COULD GET PLASTIC SURGERY WHAT WOULD IT BE?
probably my eyes. i like almond shaped eyes. and maybe my left foot...

32. WHY DID YOU FILL OUT THIS SURVEY?
because i love memes

WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST?
good qn... my figure i think...my face, my style... come to think of it, i dont get a lot of compliments... should i be worried? lol

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF ALCOHOL BECAME ILLEGAL?
absolutely nothing. dont drink much, but i'll miss my mudslide, Baileys and Dooley's

WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?
a shitzu

HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT?
twin one boy one girl so i dont ever have t get preggie again

WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
no. (unless getting named after someone in the bible counts)

DO YOU WISH ON STARS?
um, no. i only wish to God

WHICH FINGER[S] IS YOUR FAVORITE?
it depends what i need the finger for... ;)

WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY?
at a party (CAN U IMAGINE?!) , last saturday. Nat pissed me off! lord, just remembering it makes me want to hit something! :)

Retraining 101

Better now than later. No worse place than between the sheets with ample absorbent ietms waiting in line to help dry me up.
And this is sad. I know.
Must confess i have had slight urges to do it.
Circles are much easier than angles. But circles are just that; circles. And circles lead no where else but around the bend. And then it bends. and then some more.
And this is hard. i know.
For so long i wanted. And wanted i did. but wants are wants and what are wants if what you want isnt worth none?
an endless hope. what for?
too ashamed to admit it.
Yet i chose to want because i simply am lazy.
procrastination rules this.
i can do it later, too damn busy.
ignoring the greener pastures. chose to despice the unknown.
found the worsts in the better "could be"s and "can be"s; decided to have none of it.
laziness kills.
its killed me.
forgeting that today is all i have and later just might not be mine.
stealing little wishes out those wells but i ask... really; what for?

funny how we sell ourselves short.
only to hope again, to be bought.

so ashamed of my choices and upset at my being.
why did i give up the key?
when all the while, i had it.

IdiAmin.

i bowed so you could feed.
but i bowed. no one made me.
unforced. gently. hopefully. with glee.
unbeknownst to you. Gave you my throne.
so angry at me for doing this to me.
but no time to ...
c'mon!

retraining 101.
must learn to keep my head up.

May 1/07

On the highway

so halfway there, i had to stop.
i just couldnt see the damn screen- stopped for my safety.
am i going crazy?
you're driving me insane.
i looked out the window. counted; one, two, three-four, five... 5!
five cars went by and still, here i am....
watched eyes stare through five of those,
eyes wondering what it was i was doing there
yet none stopping to ask if i needed help.
help, i need.
help i desperately need.
iam at a crossroad
and cannot for the life of me, figureout what to do.
i cant help it.
being a "big girl" only lasts so long
i must disagree with you Gwen
apparently, big girls DO cry.

what am i going to do?
and how am i possibly going to make it?
its so much easier to step back, turn around and hold faith.
but i've held faith.
held it so tight sometimes my fingers lose blood supply.
gripped it so hard, faith bent!
i dont know if i can have faith.
because faith itself, is so sick of being toyed with.

i need someone to hold my hand.
China baby, where forth art thou?

Dear Miss Right,

Dear Miss Right,
How are you? Hope this letter meets you in good health, great shape and hopefully, with great libido too because thats how he likes them.
I thought to apologise before hand and inform you of his progress. Theres still some work to be done but i assure you,he is much closer to "right". I tried, i tried and i tried. i did try to contribute my fair share. And i must admit, i feel like i have. My part has been done, it is now time for me to move on.
As opposed to before, he is now able to cook some simple meals. He can make pasta with very little supervision, cook rice if the water is premeasured, and do laundry with some simple instructions. He can make you breakfast- eggs however you want it, toast or wraps, sausages and veggies... He can run bubble baths, light some candles and he still is able to fix some things around the house. He can be there whenever you need him- well, sorta.
He can make beds, and i must tell you, i have done such a great job at teaching him how to make it right! He can make snacks, prepare your lunch and occasionally take you out for nice dinners.
But i'm not a perfect teacher, and neither is he a perfect student! so brace yourself for the worst; here we go:
Miss Right, you'll have to teach him how to fold his clothes right! He still manages to dump them where ever he pleases and i dont know how many times i have to redirect him but i have done it as much as i can and he just wouldnt learn! Also, he still manages to run late but thats not the worst m'am. Your Mr. Right not only runs late, but expects you to also be ontime regardless, so please dont forget that. He still compares me to the others. I hope by the time you receive him, he would've dropped this habit but just in case he hadsnt, if he ever does compare me to you to let you know he'd had better, remind him that the reason i am gone is because i was not good enough. You can be rest assured; i aint no better. You cant possibly be any worse than i am. i know. OH YA, AND He still manages to over think things. Yes, i dont think that would ever change. I have done my part by suggesting he sees a shrink but he has been refusing. He has a mental illness yet he wouldnt do anything about it. Please have him do this if he hasnt by the time you receive him. Its crucial otherwise his craziness will drive you nuts too!
Okay, now to the nitty gritty! You must NOT! i repeat; NOT! allow him to become the verbally irresponsible nag that he use to be...you know what i mean, dont you? i mean the way he use to just blurt every and anything out of his dutty mouth just because he thought the world should hear his thoughts. it took me two years to teach him that it takes an adult to know what not to say. Almost everyday, i had to tell him "just because you feel a certain way, doesnt mean that you must say it"... now please madam, i spent at least 10 minutes of my life WEEKLY for 2 years, teaching him this... thats 2 years off my life! i beg you to please not allow him to forget it. Now, your mr. Right can now go out with you in public to adult gatherings without embarrassing you. He can actually conversate with adults now!!!
Now, heres the not-so-good news.
Okay, the other thing too is that you may not keep your last name. Ya, he just wouldnt agree... so i hope you're nothing like me. Also, he only wants you to be a wife and a mother so again, i hope you have no ambition because that might not work but since you're Miss Right, i'm sure you wont. He still has issues with money- he thinks money is everything and he can be so cheap! i tried, but only got through to him enough to have him buy me great gifts and groceries. When you get in arguments (and you will), dont be suprised if he brings up the amount of money he spends on gas to drive to see you everyday...
I am sorry to tell you that i took something from him that was not meant for me. I am sorry to tell you, that i took something of yours. The first night he went down on me, he told me its because i was to be his wife, so why not. I had known him for four previous years so i knew how special that was to him. i know, i appologise. But at least you can now be rest assured that hes been tried, tested and taught well- he will not chop, chew nor cut you. He is a GREAT eater and i must say, hes got a great appetite too. And while we're on that topic,i meant to tell you- i taught him multiple tricks in sexville- i think you'll thank me for those. That coupled with his great dick, makes him a greater catch than he sometimes seems.
Thanks for giving me the pleasure of helping him along his journey of manhood.
please enjoy him, he is such a great man.
so great that it took 3 years to leave.
so great that it took 4 more of fantacy.
so great that he withstood the storm that is me.
he is a great man.
but he is too weak for me.
good luck, and have a great married life.


sincerely,

Miss RightThen

Antie "Twut" came to love life again!

There lies no other love on earth
like the kind from a child
pure
gentle
energetic
almost sultry love
you love me kindly.
you love me carefree.
you love me. safely.

saddened and heavy laddened
i could hardly lift my head
i cried and slept
fears and worries filled my days
i tried calling for help
but how do you tell a friend
that you had lost all hope to stay?
how do you tell a sister
that you have lost lost all wills to live?

and the thoughts slipped in!

And i knew it then...
funny voices told me
as i questioned myself
"what have i done to get here?"

my head felt so heavy
my voice so weak
my heart got slow
as i contemplated the end.

how was i to do this?
how was i to leave?
what would become of me?
who would know of it?

and to pick up the phone
to reach out the room
to get out of my towel
and get into the closet
even my greatest joys lacked love.
i was about to leave the world.

but greater is he that is in you.
greater is it thats bestowed on you.
you are the love that kept me true.

i remember leaving my suite
i got up sluggishly
wiped up dried and wet tears
pretended i was invinscible
as i walked down the hall
and then the elevator
and then my car
i will go see mama
just in case i do leave
Ma' had a special treat
mama, oh how i love you
when i opened the door
i looked down and saw an entity
a special being
you stepped aback
staring at me through these bright untainted lenses.

you stared for a few moments
i was embarrassed
i had stopped visiting
and you'd almost forgotten

you looked at me
and suddenly came running
"Twuuuutttt!" "Twut! Twut! Twut! Twut! TwuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuT!!!!!"
you called me, running around in silly circles
you came into my arms
gave me your stuffed teddy,
and ran farther back, clapping, stomping, screaming
you had so much joy you didnt know how to act
so much joy you brought me out
i cried and hid my tears
ashamed that i would've disappointed you
how dare i leave?
who would be your favourite auntie?
and

i
cant
help
it...
baby, i still cry.

how you saved my life
by being a child.
you gave me love.
pure sultry untainted peaceful love.
i mattered to you, on that January day.
i am still here on this July night.
because you worked better than the pills.
five months and counting.
baby, its been five months and counting!

And i cant wait to tell you this.
when you finally grow up.
i promise.
it'll be our little secret.
we'll name this story
"How auntie Twut, came to love life again...
how Joy at 17 months, brought me out to life"

L for ________?

i been wondering...
what makes a lesbian?
seriously.
i mean... sure i've had lesbian encounters.
its so much more common now, i'm sure a lot of females have.
but does that make me a lesbian?
or i dont know; bi?

a few months ago, i had a female friend who i knew was bisexual.
she came over to visit and she tried coming on to me,
but we eventually didnt do anything.
to be honest with you, i resisted her not because she was a girl,
but because of her other characters.

i mean; what makes a lesbian?
years and years ago, while i was trying to figure out what sexuality itself meant,
i had sexual encounters with some females.
They were about my age at the time, and we were young.
does that make us lesbians?

looking even farther into my memory
i remember being molested as a child.
i didnt think anything of it at the time,
but i knew it was disgusting not because we were both females,
but because i was too young to enjoy sex at the time.
the lady, was in her teens.
does that make her a lesbian?
did it make me one?

does checking other females out make me bisexual?

what makes a Lesbian?

I get the urge to share...