How to escape a speeding ticket on halloween night.

So it was a gracious night. Halloween night!
And there i was, dressed as a BellyDancer. Kiss and I decided to go out. We went to this club called Sign243 and were supposed to meet China and 2 other friends there but we got there so late, that we couldnt get in.
So we went to this other club where White men, and Naija Yahooze boys tend to frequent. We go there for the former, by the way. We usually ignore the latter.
Anyway, that wasnt bad,... then we left there.
I was driving, and since i have a bad case of ADD, i wasnt suprised to note myself turning left at a red light! See the funny thing is, before i started to make the turn, i wasnt aware of what i was about to do but the moment i started to make the turn i realised it but, it was too late! I mean, i wasnt about to just stop in the middle of traffic so i can get hit! I had to finish that turn, so i did.
"Emm... oh sheeet! i'm making a left turn at a red light!"
Kiss: "oh,... err..."
"Oh darn"
I hadnt even finished my "darn" when i heard the sirens behind me.
Okay, heres the thing! There are numerous times when i've violated traffic laws just because i felt like it, just because i was lazy, just for the high, WHATEVARRRRRR! WHY did it have to be the one time that i REALLY didnt mean to do it, that i'd get caught?!???

Well, i'm not a runner and i wasnt about to start that night so i pulled over and assessed my fate.
Kiss: "Jesu! Opari oh! wetinb we go do?"
"hmm, " i couldnt say anything. I just prayed they dont smell the alcohol i'd drank on my breath, or sensed that i had numerous OVERDUEEE unpaid tickets or sensed that my lights dont work.
Kiss: "Truth, lets beg them"
"Beg gini? you think this is Nigeria?"

So, they arrived. One on my side, one on Kiss's side. Almost seems so darn rehearsed.

"Hi Officers!" Teeth a'gleaming.
Officer#1: "Hi, you just ran a red light there."
"Yeah i know, i dont know what i was thinkging, i didnt know till i'd done it"
Officer#1: "I dont know what you were thinking, i mean... who runs red lights with cops right behind them?"
Kiss starts her flirting with Officer#2 "We're so sorry. we're students and we never disobey the laws. That was a mistake. " she added, with her "sweet sexy girl" voice impersonation. She was almost deathly annoying. I thought, here i was trying to be professional and nice so i'd get the least penalty i could, and there she was, flirting with the officer!
Officer#2 "Students? i see"
Officer#1 "where are you guys coming from?"
"From a halloween party!"
"YEah? what club?"
"Sign243"
"May i see your driver's licence?"
I gave it to him.
He left with it, while Kiss seized yet another oppourtunity to flirt with the second officer.
"So, officer, do you like what we have on?"oh geez! i couldnt believe it.i was starting to enjoy her flirting with him but i wondered if it'd be irritating to them. I mean, i'm sure they get TONS of females who try this with them everynight! "My friend is dressed as a belly dancer"
"Really?"
"Yeah!" she turns to me "Truth, go ahead, show the gentleman your costume..."
"KISS, are you out of your..."
Officer #2 "sure, let me see it"
i thought, chei! i don suffer! this modeling i'm about to do better pay off...
i took my coat off, got out of the car and strutted ma stuff lol. I got so shy when i got out of the car. There wasnt only one police car but another police van/SUV (hell, i didnt even know those existed!) out there.
I heared some howling, but i was too shy to stand up to them. i got back in the car.
Officer#2 "Thats hot!"
I responded "Wel, if you think thats hot, you should see my friend's dress. Shes banging"
See, Truth betold, Kiss has a hot body. And the dress she had on that night, accentuated her assets. She didnt even let me finish. She prang to the oppourtunity to show herself off. She took her coat off and got out of the car. Turned and swirled...
They loved her. It was cute. lol. Big grown cops salivating over what they couldnt have experienced if were not for their uniforms.
Officer #1 returned to the car.
"Okay, i see you dont have your insurance card"
I didnt get it. I wanted to argue that i DO have my insurance card "No, but officer, i ..."
"No you dont!" he cut me short "and since you dont have you insurance card, i'm going to have to give you a $60ticket for that instead of the $200 (and 4 demerit points!!!) ticket that you should have gotten for running a red light"
I gleamed. My happiness was unmeasurable. $200? Where forth would i have acquired such sum? lmao!
"and since you two are dressed so nice, i'll just give you a warning"
lmao! i wanted to die.
They wished us goodnight, bid us farewell, and left.

Unbelievable.
Surely theres a heaven on earth.
We experience it once in a while.
Like a little treat.
We had a taste of pardoned-heaven that night.
and no... i still havent paid the numerous overdue tickets i have (which i know the cop must have seen on his monitor that night when he checked my licence) and neither have i fixed my lights.