On the highway

so halfway there, i had to stop.
i just couldnt see the damn screen- stopped for my safety.
am i going crazy?
you're driving me insane.
i looked out the window. counted; one, two, three-four, five... 5!
five cars went by and still, here i am....
watched eyes stare through five of those,
eyes wondering what it was i was doing there
yet none stopping to ask if i needed help.
help, i need.
help i desperately need.
iam at a crossroad
and cannot for the life of me, figureout what to do.
i cant help it.
being a "big girl" only lasts so long
i must disagree with you Gwen
apparently, big girls DO cry.

what am i going to do?
and how am i possibly going to make it?
its so much easier to step back, turn around and hold faith.
but i've held faith.
held it so tight sometimes my fingers lose blood supply.
gripped it so hard, faith bent!
i dont know if i can have faith.
because faith itself, is so sick of being toyed with.

i need someone to hold my hand.
China baby, where forth art thou?