Cucumber to comeville

If God was (is?) a woman, i wonder if she laughed as she created cucumbers...
some are so large, they are unbelievable.
and some so minute, you need not slice them.
there are some so thick, they're scary
and some so thin, its sad...
as she crafted the shape, i wonder if she thought
"hmm... wouldnt it be awesome if it had life!"
if she was human,
i wonder if she ever was horny.
and when she was, i wonder if she ever tried it out.
hell, as i washed and diced my 15inches long cucumber tonight,
lawd knows the only reason i didnt use it
was because it was straight out of the fridge.

i
dont
like
cold
utensils
in
me
.

so i went over to my toy box
and grabbed my vibrator...
come-ville, here i come!