WE ended it

my boyfriend came over a few hours ago
he had said he'd be over here
but he came about 10 hours after he'd previously said
that bothered me
but i got over it because i understood that he had other things to do
what i didnt understand was
why he acts all funny


i know he has a mental illness

i know he does
being the expereinced depressive chic that i am
and being the mental illness fanatic that i am
i know that he has a mental illness
why?
because he thinks
and no i dont mean "think" as in... "oh, hes such a great thinker!"
i mean think as in
24hrs, constantly tryna make sense of things even though its nothin, til it becomes something...
that kind of a thinker


but he doesnt understand that he needs help

and what is can u do with a thirsty horse but take it to a river?

if i suggest you see a shrink and you refuse, what can i do?
nothing.
so i did nothing but put up with ur shit

but anyway, he came over today, we kissed as usual
not the kind of kissin we use to have
the kind that use to make me shiver
that;d send 350volts of energy down ma spine

but the kind that we do just to prove to the world that... we're still in love
the kind we do just to catch each other in that moment that we're maybe not feelin the other anymore
do you know what i mean?
the kind of "peck" you give so the other person doesnt think that you dont like them anymore...
thats what kind of kiss we had

i got into ma bed
and you did thesame
we talked about your car, about silly little things that i dont remember
then you got up, wanted to use my pc
but knowing that i had ma webpage open, i told you to "wait a minute"
as i wanted to close ma webpage

and of course
being the psychotic naive idiot that you are, you got a ll paranoid and decided to wonder why i did that


To be continued...