WE ended it (2)

continuing...

So as i told him to wait, i went over to my PC, covered the screen with one hand as i closed the page with the other.
he got suspicious and asked why i did that and i simply explained to him... "its my webpage, i want it to remain known to me andonly me. i want it to remain annonymously mine. if i know that you know the page, then i cant use the page anymore" "its my therapy..."

he didnt buy this (even though it was the truth), he figured theres something there i had to hide.
he was right.
but so was i.
i didnt want him seeing one of the posts i had there. there are more than one posts there about him but theres one that i Really dont want him to view.
i really did use my old blog for therapy. if he knew my blog address, then how can i be true about what i post there, without considering his feelings?

he started to explain that he didnt like that i closed it, that i didnt want him to see it
Me: u're paranoid man
JC: its just like at work, you know... when ppl start saying something and the moment you walk into the room, they stop. you know its about you. i know what you have there is about me.
Me: i have told you that yes, some of the things on it are about you, but its nothing i mind you seeing. i just simply dont want yo knowing my blog address. so how about this; i'll go on my blog, change my blog address and name and all that, and then allo you to navigate through it all you want. then when you're done, i'll change it back to its usual name. that way, you wont have to worry about it anymore, AND my address remains safe from you.
JC: (no answer)
Me: ooookayyyyyyyy
JC: its also like when you're at work, and ppl start speaking a different language just because you're there...
Me: i dont blame people for speaking different languages sometimes. i mean, i shouldnt have to give up on my language just because i'm in a different language.
JC: so what are you doing here then? (i.e what are u doing in canada...)
Me: (long pause) (yells:) you're one ignorant motherfucker! YOU THINK JUST BECAUSE I CAME TO ANOTHER COUNTRY MEANS I SHOULD FORGET EVERYTHING ABOUT WHERE I'M FROM? YOU SHOULD TELL THAT TO UR MOTHER WHO SPEAKS PATOIS EVERY CHANCE SHE GETS! WHY NOT ASK HER TO GO BACK TO JAMAICA EVERYTIME SHE SPEAKS PATOIS?!
JC: starts to prance around the room looking for his belongings, starts to detach my key from his bunch of keys(he had a copy of my condo keys)
Me: ya, u can leave that on the table
JC: left the key on the vanity set, and walked out

by the way, did you notice how the conversation tansited from the pc issue, the trust issue to the work issue and then the ignorance issue? we started with one topic and ended with another.

he called an hour and a half later...
Me: hello?
JC: yes. i dont know, i'm not happy with you. i know this isnt going anywhere
Me: well i think we both know its been over for a long while now
JC: yes, its been over
long unncesary talk.... then
Me: okay, bye
JC: bye

i got off the phone, started this blog, then called up the most unlikely suitor i know (i'll tell you about him later), just to pass time and maybe, remind myself that i'm still wanted by a man (regardless how unattractive the man is)